The Incredibles.

So we just got back from ‘The Incredibles’ and it was GREAT!!! Seriously, I think it’s the best movie I’ve seen all year. Just, everything was brilliant about it. The writing, the animation, the casting…everything just AWESOME. I laughed so much my abs are killing me. Seriously, you just can’t go wrong with the Pixar/Disney combo. A bugs life, Toy Stories 1 and 2, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc, and now The Incredibles are all just plain great.

Dear Disney/Pixar combo,

I love you. MAKE MORE FILMS.

-Camille

Sunday

So yesterday Fellers were at our house for like 8 hours. I must say though, that if my family MUST insist on having friends over all the time, I’m glad its them. They’re one of the neatest families I’ve ever met.

So what did the girls and I do when were weren’t being ‘social’ and ‘participating in the family fun’? Well, we drove to the store, bought three bottles of bubbly (Ha, sparkling grape juice. What? I can’t buy the real stuff yet.) dashed up to my room, and started a Harry Potter marathon. It was quite fun, we’ve decided that my room is the only place that we can ‘really’ call our own. Plus it just kicks butt. Heh okay I have an ego.

We just got back from playing tennis. I got a little emotional towards the end though. *ahem* Both Dad and Laura take it very seriously and aren’t very good sports. Lets just say I felt really WORTHLESS as far as the game went, and then after I got a slight injury (I don’t want to go into details) that was it. Heh, anyways.

Oh, we’re all going to ‘The Incredible’s’ tonight. So that should be fun. Its always a bit of a challenge to take the whole family to a movie, getting enough seats/tickets and what not, but its worth it.

Yeah I’m just filling time.

Random facts:

*I’d Marry Jack Black in a heartbeat.

*I want so badly to cut my hair but I’m a chicken.

*I suck a rebounding in tennis, but my serve is very nice.

*I don’t know how I feel about Woody Allen films.

*We didn’t go to church today.

*blah.

Lovely.  

Nile's staple food. Soda crackers. 

We got the tree up, yay. 

I have nothing to say.

Well I am officially the biggest loser on the planet. I spent my entire Friday night cleaning house. Wonderful.

In other news, we got a Christmas tree today. Honestly it was a pain in the neck and we had so many dramas trying to get the dang thing its not even funny.

Also- Fellers are coming in all day tomorrow. I don’t know when their presence is going to feel like ‘overkill’ to my family.

H T.

Happy Thanksgiving folks.

Dear,

Dear windows XP,

Thank you so much for making it SO easy for us to have seperate Users. Even though the rest of the psychos in the house are still messing up this computer at least I have control of my own stuff now.

Dear Camille,

Thank you for finally breaking down and buying yourself a new dickman. I know you loved old faithful very much, but it was time to let him die. He was covered in scratches and had a rough sound. He was a very good little cd player but he was old and had been dropped too many times.

I think your purchase of a new one last night was, a very good idea. I know its hard.

Love,
Camille

Tuesday?

Action packed highlights.

*Emily and I found out that Vistor was actually from Russia when we went to babysit today. It makes me love that scruffy little man even more now.

*It was Laura's second to last day at the cafe today. She put in her two weeks, just like I did. I'm so damn rpoud of her.

*I saw an angel at Target tonight. A roman angel. He was picking out some fruit when Emily and I passed him on the way to get orange juice. We walk ten feet and I look at Em and she says "Shut up, I know you love him. Man Camille, you're so predictable. You've got that friggen type and I don't think you'll ever get out of it. Geez." Ha ha okay so yeah, it was funny. Although I'm not really in love with the man, he was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I felt like dirt walking next to him. Ha ha ha, *sigh* Good times.

*Had drama practice tonight, as usual. Tiff got really mad at most of the group because they WEREN'T paying attention at all. Luckily though it was a drama we did a long time ago so I knew it and we just had to teach it to the newbies. It sucked though because Tiff re-cast me and now I'm this rebel chick that these guard dudes have to hold back. Guess who the gaurds are? Nick (hes cool) and JOE. The little jerk off Joe. I can't believe that I have to allow that stupid boy to touch me, guh. I think I might quit drama sfter this year is over.

*Oh, and I've decided that when I start classes next year I'm taking Italian.

Firstly.

I don't know why the font looks so dark in the post below, and I'm too lazy to edit so you will have to forgive me.

Secondly, the girls and I started taking Spanish today. Our Alt Ed (we will not calll ourselves homeschoolers unlest we MUST) started teaching the class two weeks ago and really wanted us in it. Mom decided to force Laura and Emily to take it, so I just hopped in for their sakes. I've had some of this silly language in the past so I knew it wouldn't be hard to catch up. So class started today and it was 'alright'. Sure, the kids are lame but its not that long and hey, I don't do enough already right? Whats one more thing?

Heehee. Anyways. I went for a walk tonight. The sky was pitch black and the air was crisp and very cold. My music was perfect, it was a beautiful little adventure. I always forget how much I love walking at night.

Hmmm, what else. Oh right, I adore Copeland.


Sleep now moon
I'll watch over her while the sun is up
And you'll have her eyes again soon
It's a glorious day
And my lonely heart is tired again
And I am
Starved for her attention

That's when Paula sparks OH...
That's when Paula sparks a little light in my eye
(Ever since she went away)
That's when Paula sparks a little light in my eye
(I miss her more everyday)
That's when Paula sparks OH...

Sleep now sweet princess
I'll cheer for you silently
And carefully not to disturb oh
And I'll be ready on that evening
When you're starved for my attention
And you'll say
You'll say
Wait now prince
There's a brilliant sky above
And a jealous moon in love and they are
Starved for our attention

Ever since you went away
That's when Paula sparks OH...
I miss her more everyday
That's when Paula sparks a little light in my eye
Ever since you went away
That's when Paula sparks a little light in my eye
I miss her more everyday
That's when Paula sparks OH...

Sleep now moon
That's when Paula sparks OH...
Ever since you went away
That's when Paula sparks a little light in my eye
Ever since you went away
That's when Paula sparks a little light in my eye
Ever since you went away
That's when Paula sparks OH...

I know I know, I'm pathetic. *sigh* Its such a lovely song though.

Yesterday…

…love was such an easy game to play….

…wait, no it wasn’t. You’ve hardly even played it Camille and when you have you’ve sucked at it loser. Oh right, okay continuing,

Yesterday we drove up to Britt Iowa to celebrate my grandparents 50^th wedding anniversary. I used the word celebrate, ha. That’s so funny. Why? Because they’re really not the most loving couple and their marriage hasn’t exactly been ‘joyous’ by any stretch of the word. I also have never really felt like they were my grandparents, for many reasons. Oh blah blah blah. I could go into the past of it all but I really don’t care to right now. Lets go straight to the action packed highlights.

*Woke up at five and helped get everyone ready to go.

*Drove two hours up to Britt, listened to music and read Anna Kareninna. (OH MY WORD!!! HE PROPOSED AND SHE SAID YES! Seth, you little bastard for telling me he might not ask her! You stinking SOB! He did and she said YES! Thank Neptune!)

*Attended a Catholic service which was very interesting. During this service Sophia (whom I was trying to keep occupied and quiet) kept doing the most OUTRAGIOUS hilarious things and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. One of my personal favorites was “Camille why Is that guy in the dress yelling at that glass of juice? Is he mad at it?” Well, the priest was blessing the communion or something in a very loud voice and Sophia was very confused. Man she was a naughty little riot.

*Lunch. The girls and I took charge of the kids table, but what else is new? The kids table is the best.

*We spent the rest of the afternoon at my Grandparent's house. Highlights there included: Chatting with WEIRD relatives, eating cake, dodging WEIRD relatives and going down to the basement with the kids. In said basement I: Played darts with myself (very fun)while the girls watched tennis, kicked Emily’s ass at speed, kicked Emily’s ass at pool, and chased the boy in laps around the basement.

*After most of the other WERID relatives had left, Emily and I watched the finals for the Huston masters cup. Rodger Federer was playing, and hes out favorite so we were PSYCHED! Grandpa came into the room, and here is the conversation that followed.

Grandpa: What are you two girlies watching.
Camille: Tennis Grandpa.
Grandpa: Well can we put the football on instead?
Camille: No Grandpa, this is good for your culture.
Grandpa: Culture??? Hoodog, I didn’t know this was culture.
Emily: Well it is grandpa, so have a seat and learn.
Grandpa: Whos that Ally Cat? The one who looks like he needs a hair cut BAD.
Camille: That’s Rodger Grandpa, we want him to win.
Emily: Yeah, and the other guy is Layton, hes a retard and a totally dork
Grandpa. So we want him to lose okay?
Grandpa: Alright girls, so the ally cat weirdo we want to win, and the dorky girl we want to lose.
Emily: Right.
Grandpa: So which one do we want to win?
Camille: Gah Grandpa, the guy in the blue shirt. Rodger.
Grandpa: Haven’t I had enough culture yet?
Camille and Emily: NO!
Grandpa: Okay. I’ll stay and get me some more culrute then.

Ha ha, okay I’ll admit…Grandpa is alright. Hes a cutie at least.

Anywho, overall we survived and made our father happy by visiting his parents and other family members. So I guess you could say it was productive and ‘reasonably’ enjoyable.

*sigh*

Well guys, doing a bit better today. Yesterday was just the tip of an ice berg that I'd been climbing for the last couple of months, and I finally reached it.

Did that make sense to any of you? I highly doubt it. Anyways.

We spent the day out at Fellers, again. They really are the greatest family though, and we had a nice time. The Hawkeyes were playing, so of course the 'men' watched that.

It was just nice, and over all...yeah. Just a hell of a lot better of a day. (That sentance hurt my grey matter.)

So yeah, its nice because they don't have any kids our age that we older kids have to hang out with. SO, that means we can chat with the adults or just do whatever we want. I read Anna Kareninna in the sunroom with the girls while they watched tennis. And it was....nice.

Heh, okay I better go. We have to go to Britt tomorrow, to see my father's parental units. I'll post about that tomorrow I'm sure.

-Feeling better

Cut.

Thats it guys I'm just going to cut the tripe and tell it like it is right now. My life sucks. Mom hates me, Dad doesn't care, the kids don't need me, and Laura and Emily have tennis. Seths busy, he doesn't care, my friends all suck (Lincolns a jock, Chelseas a ditz, Joes a dick, Nick is too shy, Nichole and Jenna have lost it, and Andreia is an idiot. Broke is undersexed. Thats all there is to it. Abby, Brittany, and Katelyn all SUCK. Tiff and everybody else are just retarded and don't give a shit about me. Drews cool, but yet again too shy.) Enough with friends though. Screw them. Seriously, my family hates me. I suck, peiod. I'm an awful, bitchy, mean, ugly, worthless, STUPID, wtreched girl. No wonder they hate me, I'm a bitch! I'm sick of beads, I am so so so so sick of beads. I hate money, I hate math. I hate this house. I hate having to clean it all the time and never getting anywhere with it. I practically broke my finger today, and its all sore now just because of my own stupidity! I hate fighting, but most of all I hate fighting with Laura. She is IMPOSSIBLE. Shes completely insane, and Emily's lost it too! Or maybe I've just lost it. I don't know, but I can't get along with them. Them, or Mom. Mom always acts like she cares when we're out in public, but then at home I'm just her 'buisness' partner if that makes any sense. She always wants my 'advice' or my 'opnion' or my 'help', but for cripes sake. Today she even yelled at me and told me to start acting like an adult. So of course I was SO mature and andswerd her with a "But I'm not an adult!!!" Man, gah. I'm trying to stop cursing so much but if I wasn't oy vey. I just don't know whats going on. My life is falling apart. Oh, and Seths had two car accidents in the last 24 hours. And I got yelled at for driving too fast the other night because all the kids ratted on me even though this jerkoff in a truck was riding me with his BRIGHTS on and I couldn't bloody see, so I got away from him. But you know, I'M the one with the problem, as far as Studer drivers go. Oh and for heavens sake, I know SO many wonderful people who all live SO far away. I almost wish I didn't know them, because it hurts so bad that I can't just be in the same room with them for even ten minutes.

I have to go place some orders now, great.

Dear God,

I still love you.

I *heart* dance.

I wish I had dance every night. I have never enjoyed it more then I have this year, I’m having a ball and I have no idea why! I’m just trying VERY hard to do well, and its paying off I guess. Since we’re just doing early year routines, we really don’t have assigned spots yet so you can stand wherever theres and open spot. I like the front row over towards the right of the studio, so that’s usually where I end up going. I just, FOCUS. I love it, I love getting the steps right. I hate our music for one of our routines, but its not bad enough to make me not try. Heh, so in the middle of class tonight my teacher says “Okay lets um, have everybody swap places, just for fun. Camille, why don’t you come stand here in the front row right in the middle.” Gasp, I was like holy cow, um, alrighty then. I mean its not like I’ve never been placed there for shows in the past, but, it was just out of the blue and kinda nice to know that the hard work is paying off. I smoked that tap number, smoked it baby. Wow, I sound like I have SUCH a huge ego, and thats really not it...I look awful there, but...I'm trying! Still...

I love…to dance.

Oh, and dad's away for a few days for buisness, so we're partying. Seriously, we slept in, did beads all morining, and then all went out to Fellers for the afternoon. We talked our heads off, and laughed so much our abs ached. Then I got the kids making snowflakes around the kitchen table, and that was a ball. THEN, Eric Feller asked if we'd stay for pizza. Oy vey! We're practically living with these people lately! Its a good thing they rock though.

Snowflakes, galore.

Emily and I set of for that infernal babysitting job first thing this morning. I’m not exaggerating ladies and gentlemen, it is almost pure hell. That’s beside the point though. When we returned we found the house (well, at least the inside of it) completely covered with small bits of white paper. We’re talking thousands of little snippets of typing paper. Erik and Nile run to greet us and say “Hey girls! Mom let us make snowflakes with scissors!”

We surveyed the house and found that nearly every window had a few mutated snowflakes pasted on it. Once in a while, mom just gives up and today was one of those days. We found her in our makeshift ‘bead studio’ working on some projects for Monday’s class. She had just…let the kids take over the house. So, we made lunch and spent about two hours cleaning up. Great.

During that time, I got a call from Katie. It’s a long story, but shes been living with this family for about a year now, and lately the 14 year old girl has been completely insane with her. Katie has been best friends with said girl since she moved in, has completely taken up a ‘older sister’ role and defended her whenever she needed it. Well, last night Nichole came into Katie’s room and said that either Katie had to move out, or she was going to because she just couldn’t take it anymore. Honestly, Nichole is a bit unstable, obviously. The Conrad family is a very successful, seemingly normal, and happy family…but…Nicole has issues. Anyways, Katie decided to move out. The girl is only 18 years old, and just that. She has been taking care of herself for the last two years, and damn it she needs a break! She just got laid off at work on Saturday, and now this. When she called, she was fine for the first couple of minutes but then she just broke down. It was wretched to hear her in so much pain, and I….can’t do anything for her. Well, I can be her friend and love her, but I can’t give her a job, help her pay her bills…or make her stupid parents love her. Fortunately though, this girl…she knows what to do. Shes got the Father in her mind, and she is trying so hard. I can’t say enough about how much I love, admire, and respect her. Anyways, shes staying with her grandmother right now, but I think I’ll have her come stay here for a couple of days at the end of the week.

Oh, and the boys and I had a bit of an adventure this afternoon. First off we spent about an hour on the trampoline, doing flips and other random …um…gymnastucal things? Yay fun, I just made another word. After that we rode our bikes all around town, and you’ll never guess who we had the misfortune of running into when we were by the river…

…Aaron, the skater boy. He was was walking with a friend and I was so worried about making sure Nile didn’t ride right into the back of him that I didn’t recognize him until I looked back to make sure Erik had cleared them as well. Then, I thought to myself ‘Oh shit, that’s him! Oh God don’t let him recognize me!’ but to my dismay, I heared him say “Hey Camille! Hows it going?” I’m on my bike right? So I just used it as an excuse to holler back a “Um, hey Aaron…I actually gotta go, bye!” and then I whispered to the boys to step on it and oh did we ever make time! It was good.

Still, it sucked to see that creep. I hadn’t seen him for about two months, and thought I was in the ‘all clear’. That I possibly could have been gone from his memory, but no such luck. Oh puke, I hate that stupid boy.

Its taken over.

Well guess what filled my evening again tonight kidos? That’s right, another ‘Glass Menagerie’ beads class. Oy vey, I’m tired. All in all it went well though, we made a LOT of money, and Tess was there. Shes one of my favorites. Aside from her though, the people were somewhat blahzay. Or perhaps that’s just how I felt today. It was cold and rainy all day, but nothing…extreme. Just constant and boring as far as weather goes. Not like weathers everything though.

Oh, and you know what else I love? Tiff called and said they had to switch tomorrows practice to TONIGHT, which I obviously had to miss because of the class. So now I’m not going to know what the heck I’m supposed to do for next week, but you know what? It was probably best for my health that I didn’t go down there and see those people. I just know my blood pressure would have risen at the first sight of them. I am wound tightly, but I think this has been coming for a while. I enjoy people, honestly I do, but not when they suck this bad.

Oh, and perhaps I’M the one with the problem, maybe it IS me. However, what do I do about it? I have no idea. I just pray that either I find a few people close by that are cool to chill with or that I secure a career that I can completely devote my life to. Ha ha okay I’m all talk no show.

Oh, and in recent news whenever I don’t have to leave the house I’m a bum in appearance. Oh that doesn’t mean I’m unsanitary or anything of the such, it simply means that I live in lounge/yoga pants, Iowa shirts (the only tee shirts I like to wear right now), and hoodies. That’s it. Right there. Oh and my boots of course, you know, the kind that every preppy schmuck has. Except for the fact that I didn’t get mine in toupe like everyone else, I got mine in VIOLET. Can we say tre fabulous? I can. But yes, if you were to surprise me with a visit on any given day as of late, you’d find me in workout attire with no makeup and curly hair in a Greek updo. Yes folks, the frumpatude has indeed…

…taken over.

Plan A.

There are a few things I'd like to have sometime in the future, heres one I just decided on today.

*I want to have a cat when I move out of the house. Of course it all depends on my job and living space, but thats all tentitive. I want it to be a male, a large dark striped Tomcat. I will name him...

...Vito.

Tense.

I feel a little tense right now. I spent most of the day at drama rehearsals and then tonight we preformed at this youth conference thing in CR. The drama went well and everything, but…something that happened beforehand really just set me in a bad way for the rest of the night.

We had all driven to the church, and were in the parking lot waiting for a few minutes because we were so early. Everybody was car hopping, going from one persons car to another and talking and what not, anyways…I don’t hop. People come to me, I don’t go to them. I have standards. Ha ha okay enough ego. Anywho. So Andrea was in my car, and then Joe hopped in the back. Joe asked if he could see the cds I had up front, and I said “Sure.” and handed them back to him. He thumbed through them and then just stared at me with this COMEPLETELY judgmental expression on his face. He hands me my ‘System of a down’ record and says “Camille, how can you pretend to praise God while you listen to this? All of these Camille, just, how can you?” and I replied “Joe, I’m pretty sure they’re Christian band….” And his rebuttal “Camille, you can say any band is Christian and try and justify it and it doesn’t make it right.”

I was just like…wha??? You’ve got to be kidding me, wha??? So everytime I looked at him tonight I just got a sick feeling in my stomach, and I had to perform with him and it was just awful. I tried to focus, and get my heart in the right place…but it just made me feel like shit. I have never had a problem with my music, and he was turning this whole thing into SUCH a drama, that it just floored me. And the fact that it was JOE made it all worse. The boy who I thought was different from all the others there, and one that I thought could maybe understand me., well, hes just like all the rest. I don’t care if hes had a crush on me for three years, hes a weirdo and I don’t even care if hes tall and has a roman nose! I don’t give a damn! I haven’t liked him for about a year and a half, but I think I despise him more as I get older. Anyways, that’s not all of it…

… I just, gah. Okay, you know what? My faith cannot be shaken by some superficial maniac who doesn’t even know me. That’s right Cam, you’re okay. You just need to find yourself, a group that understands you. All I’m trying to say is, its just hard feeling like this. I completely understand that the people in the church aren’t going to be perfect, yes I get the concept, but I just don’t know what the heck THESE kids are. I don’t get them and they don’t see that I don’t think the way they do. We’re like night and day, only when I’m with them they just smoother me with a huge flashlight or something to make me look like them. But I want the moon and stars.

Okay I need to sleep, I’m just starting to sound insane. Oh, and another funny story. While I was driving down today, I passed this guy who appeared to be in his mid twenties driving a silvarado pickup. He was going really slow, that’s why I remembered him. About two minutes later, he passes me. And the guy waves. ‘Okay’ I think ‘That’s a bit odd, but whatever.’ Then about three minutes later I have to pass him again because hes slowed down, only this time when I go to pass him, he stays even with me. I look over and hes grinning at me. ‘That’s it. I’m gone you jerk.’ I floor it and pass the creep with ease, thanks to my little cars speediness. I basically stayed at 80 until I got to my exit. It did weird me out though, I’ve never had that happen on the interstate before.

A cup of beads.

Today was yet again a day of beads. First we had some ladies call asking if they could come over and make some bracelets this afternoon, and then we had our class tonight which was pretty full. Its always surprising how much work it is, we dash around that room for pretty much two hours straight and usually when its all over I’ve lost my voice form talking so much. Tonight was a good night though, all my favorites came…Bunny, Carolyn, Nancy, Alex, Shannon, Barb, Jean, Kaylee, and dear, dear, Lynne. Seriously, those are almost all of my favorite ladies who regularly attend the classes. None of the pesky controlling ones were there, and we sold a lot of merch. So all in all, a fairly productive day.

I am so tired now though so I will go make myslef a cup of tea and try to get some reading done before bed. It sounds like a bood plan.

Plizah!

Well lets see, whats been going on this last week.

The group is getting a drama ready for this Sunday night. We have a performance and not all the newbies have it down, but we’ll get it.

We’ve had a couple of bead classes, and we’ve got another one tomorrow night already. Its like BAM! They just come up so quickly, its rough how tight we have to do the schedule in the fall. Friggen people wanting to make Christmas presents. On a happier note though, I’ve been making more ‘finished’ products as of late. No people to teach, no amatures to be frustrated with, just me and my beads. I’m going to sell them at a gift shop in town as well as my first place, Jolynes. Ah, you just have to love women who will spend money on jewelry.

Its strange, I’ve been feeling, well, happier as of late as well. I don’t know what it is. Possibly its because I am finally getting physically well, my colors returning and I’m getting more sleep and all of that ‘health’ stuff. Bah on that but I am feeling better.

One thing I have been worried about though, is the near future, and what the hell I should do for the next few years. My basic plaan is to just finish up my high school work, and start college next fall at Kirkwood (the local community college, Seth’s first college venture as well!). I’d just do two years and get my AA most likely. I dunno, part of me thinks that would be nice to just go someplace close, and live at home for free and what not, but another part of me just CRAVES adventure. A place where nobody knows me, a place where I can be surprised. I mean I know I can be surprised here, but its not always positive! Ha ha okay, focus. I don’t know, I guess I’d just like some CLEAR answers. Some clear direction. I just wish God would smack me in the face with an answer book for at least, the next couple of years. I do know though that the unknown is what makes life exciting, so I guess I’ll just shut up and do what I have to do when it comes along. I maybe should look into a little therapy and maybe a weekly massage WHILE I wait though. Just a thought.

Music, plizah! Its been a music week. Oh yeah, gah. I wish I just owned every good album there ever was, my music is so pathetic…why does it have to be so expensive??? I guess I could have refrained from buying other things, but I didn’t think of it then. I do love music though, sweet lord. I can’t get enough. And I can’t STAND most of the top 40 lately, just, why does popular music have to suck so bad? It’s the easiest to access, but its mostly shit. Sorry God, I’ll stop being a potty mouth. Its ‘tripe’ then. There we go.

Oh man, and this is a drama. (Edited for the sake of the friend GIRL) has had a crush on BOY as long as I’ve known her, and hes always been a friend of hers as well, but I never knew how he felt about her. I just didn’t care to ask. The other night though, he randomly told me that he felt un-comfortable with her, that “Shes been hitting on me lately, and I’m so glad shes a year ahead of us and off at college, I mean come one. Its been A LONG TIME years, and I’ve tried to let her down easy but she just can’t take a hint. Don’t tell her I said anything though.” Heh! Oh, of course not. So now, I don’t know what the hell to do. Ah shit! I said hell! Damn it...I just said shit! Ah fuc... STOP! Okay, deep breaths. Whew. Alright. So now I’m torn between asking BOY to just tell her something finally, or, just still playing dumb with GIRL. But, I can’t just go on letting her think shes got a chance right now, but what else can I do? Nothing Cam. You can do nothing. Just be there and don’t lead her on. Okay, that’s what I’ll do.

I have been doing better as of late though, I love you all.

For you, if I should be so bold...

...as to say that it is even close.



I'm in love with the girl that I'm talking about

I'm in love with the girl I can't live without

I'm in love but I sure picked a bad time...

To be in love, to be in love

Well, let her be somebody else's queen

I don't want to know about it

There's too many others that know what I mean

And, that's why I got to live without it

I'm in love with the girl I'm talking about

I'm in love with the girl I can't live without

I'm in love but I feel like I'm wearin' it out

I'm in love but I must have picked a bad time...

To be in love, a bad time to be in love

A bad time to be in love

A bad time to be in love

All the stories coming back to me

From my friends and the people that I don't want to see

The things you say I know just couldn't be true

At least not until I hear them from you

'Cause I still love the little girl I'm talking about

I'm in love with the girl I can't live without

I'm in love but I feel like I'm wearin' it out

I'm in love but I must have picked a bad time...

To be in love, a bad time to be in love

A bad time to be in love, a bad time to be in love



You know that I love the little girl I'm talking about

I'm in love with the girl I can't live without

I'm in love but I feel like I'm wearin' it out

I'm in love but I must have picked a bad time...

To be in love, a bad time to be in love

A bad time to be in love, a bad time to be in love



-ME



( a song that was loved by my heart.)

Crazy.

Todays insaneness.

5:45a.m. to 8:15a.m. – Cleaned Dad’s office.

8:30a.m. to 11:30 a.m. –Babysitting job with Emily.

11:45a.m. to 3:00p.m. –Mad dash to get things ready for bead class.

3:00 p.m. to 3:15 p.m. –Shower and dress.

3:20p.m. to 6:30 p.m. –Cedar Rapids/car time.

6:30 p.m. -9:00 p.m. –Bead Class.

9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. –household chores.

And here I am.

Well, its freezing cold today, we’re talking ICE. I had to mow Dad’s office, and even with my hood up (Camille wearing a hoodie? Gasp!) I was still just frozen. Okay enough cold.

So I went down to CR tonight, service was great and I really worked some more things out. I wish I could just spill my guts right here, but I’m still too shy on this blog. Maybe later.

So afterwards I played dodgeball with the guys. Okay seriously, it was Melissa (She is ATHLETIC!) and I playing with like 25 dudes. Gah, so I just acted like a dork pretty much and hid behind the guys. I did however, end up being the last person standing (Okay, the guys just wouldn’t really try and hit me because I am the ‘girl’ but still) and I made a point by getting the ball in a basket so that’s good at least. Okay yeah I still suck.

It was cool with the friends though tonight, I actually tried to make myself enjoy them, and I did. Lincoln and I had a blast talking, and Joe walked me to my car before I headed off with some girls to see a movie and he and I had a lovely little chat. Its usually so hard to get that retard talking, hes so friggen twitchy. Anyways, then the chicas and I went over to Tiff’s to watch a ‘chick flick’ and have girl time. We watched ‘The Prince and Me’. Oh lord, geez. I don’t think I was made to handle chick flicks. But, I love my girls, somewhat, and we chilled. And I made myself be social.

And you all know what that is right?

Good for politics!

The latest breaking news in Camille’s life.

*Her sister Emily is now 13.
*Her youth Pastor and good friend Jodie are now married. The weeding was beautiful and Camille and her friends had a blast.
*Camille and her mother booked a spot for the first time at a ‘Vinton Art Fair’ and it SUCKED like, completely. She then was once again reminded that this shitty little town she lives in has ZERO culture.
*She is still as busy as ever and she misses and loves you all.

Miss Prins.

Hmmm. Brittany Prins asked me over to her house tonight. Its weird, I’m friends with her bro Lincoln (Hes my age) but I like Britt as well. Shes 20, completely calm and centered, yet still really fun. All in all, I think shes been a bit worried about me, so she just invited me over for some ‘chill’ time. It actually was really nice, she made dinner and then we tried out their new hot tub! It was brilliant, really cold clear air, and the stars, and the back of their house is pretty much just a field, so it was really nice. They have a completely gorgeous, SPOTLESS home, and it was just fun. Yeah.

And now my whole family is wigging out so I have to go. Because our house isn’t calm and centered. I need to run away.

The first Wednesday in Nov, 04.

I just got home from dance class, and tonight it really was…just invigorating. I had decided that this year I was going to try my hardest to do well, and its starting to pay off. I don’t chat that much with the girls this year, I just practice. I WANT to get EVERY single step, and when I get it right…it just feels so good. Honestly, our studio isn’t THAT professional, and one of our routines is really lame, but I don’t care. It’s the best I’ve got right now, and I’m going to try and give it more attention then I have in the past, even if it doesn’t really take that much time. I’m just going to focus more when I’m there. Its lovely. The girls suck, but I just love to dance. I forgot how much I loved it.
~
I did beads as well this afternoon, mostly just sorting them which somewhat sucks, but I needed to do it. We’ve gotten a lot of new inventory and everything was in disarray. It was kind of nice though, I brought all the beads into the living room with me and sat in front of the fireplace (which was on and so warm and toasty) and listened to music. Well, I had my headphones on. You know, with music playing in my ears and my hands sorting beads, and the warmth of the fire on my face. Fall is beating me up this year.
~
The Season Pattern of Iowa, or as it feels to my soul.

Winter, winter, winter.
Cold, grey, drab, snow, wind, dead.
Winter, winter, winter.
And more of the same.
Winter, winter, winter.
And more of the same.

Spring,
Fresh air and and trees with buds.
You're a nice and clean season.

Summer, summer,
Our world busts with green, oh we are alive!
Summer, summer,
The green, the green of our world,
and the warm summer sun.

Fall,
Cool breezes, and earthy colors. It’s a lovely thing.
Fall,
Until these golden leaves do as the seasons name, and fall.

Winter, winter, winter.
We’re back to you again.
Winter, winter, winter.
You’re freezing up my soul.
Winter, winter, winter.
And more of the same.
Winter, winter, winter.
~
That’s how I feel about the length of our seasons. Springs a quick glance, summers a joyous fling, fall flies by…but winter. It never ends.
~
Also. I know who our new president is. And I don't give a damn.

Halloween Pictures.

Well, Chelsea asked me to post some pictures of us Studers on Holloween so here you go toots. I posted a ton for ya. Now get off my case. (Jk, you know I love ya.)

Sohpia and Kaylee. 

Erik and Nile. 

Lucky me. 

Look at Ems nose, its so friggen cute! 

What a smug little bug! 

The news is love. 

Ow ow ow, look at those smiles. 

Aw...Shopy. 

Wow, not the same. 

The news is puff 

Shes straight tripping! 

What a hottie. 

Dear.

Dear Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry,
You both suck, and I am sick of talking about you. I don’t even know if I care anymore about who wins.
~
Dear Sisters,
I’m sick of tennis. Seriously, don’t tell me another score or show me another picture right now. I can’t take it.
~
Dear Lincoln,
NO! I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS FOR JOSH SMITH!
~
Dear Mel,
Get back here safely.
~
Dear Mom,
Lay off the mood swings, you’re killing us. Please, just….can you be a bit more predictable?
~
Dear Anna Karenina,
You are the most wonderful book I’ve ever read.
~
Dear Katie,
Hurry up and get that apartment rented so we can have all those good times we’ve been talking about lately.
~
Dear Seth,
You make really good cds. Damn.
~
Dear Grand Prix,
I wish you were mine.
~
Dear Room,
Why can’t you clean yourself?
~
Dear Joe and Beth Virks,
You guys creep me out sometimes.
~
Dear Chaz,
Quit cheating on Andria you jackass! I’m sorry but that’s what you are! You are a dumb jock who thinks you can get away with whatever you want and its just not right! You’re freaking dumb, and guess what? I don’t even think you’re attractive at all. I don’t care how ‘tight’ girls say you are, to be you’re uglier then a pile of vomit. I can’t believe you’d sleep around with other girls when all Andria has ever done was love you. I just can’t believe you. You make me sick. You’re a dumb jock, and Andria is a flighty airhead, but at least shes faithful. You don’t deserve her, but she can’t seem to wake up.
~
Dear Tiff,
This new drama is somewhat lame, and my legs hurt from that super long practice the other day. Everyone on the team are saying their legs hurt, you really need to give us a break some times.
~
Dear Kathy,
I quit working at your stupid café and I don’t feel guilty at all. You don’t know anything about running a restaurant, and I don’t think you could have possibly made any more mistakes with the décor. Your taste leaves a LOT to be desired. I’d wish you luck but honestly I’m not a nice person and I don’t really care if your restaurant makes it or not. You’ve done everything half-assed and I don’t know if you deserve a break.
~
Dear Isobelle Carmody,
Please write the last book in the Obernewtyn series. PLEASE.
~
Dear ‘The Watchmen’,
Your song ‘No longer mine’ makes me want to just curl up and cry my eyes out. Its so beautiful.
~
Dear Summer,
Come back.
~
Dear Matt,
I’m so very sorry.
~
Dear Sophia,
I have completely enjoyed you lately.
~
Dear Life,
Calm down.
~
Dear Camille,
Remember to floss your teeth and make sure Mom gets that appointment for the removal of your wisdom teeth confirmed. Also, quit worrying about everything. You’re doing pretty good with your nutrition, and you’re getting more exercise so that’s a plus…but you still need more sleep. You’re almost always tired. Also, step it up in your math! You have SO much to get done before the year is through, and its not even funny! Stop spending money, you’re gonna need it in case you have to move out sooner then you thought. Just stop sucking and start being a good girl.
~
Dear God,
I’m sorry to you most of all. I have slapped you in the face this fall. You, who have always been more then faithful…I’ve not forgotten you, but I’ve pushed you away. I’m so sorry. I…I’m going to try so much harder, and I know…that you’ll make up for what I can never do.
~