Plizah!

Well lets see, whats been going on this last week.

The group is getting a drama ready for this Sunday night. We have a performance and not all the newbies have it down, but we’ll get it.

We’ve had a couple of bead classes, and we’ve got another one tomorrow night already. Its like BAM! They just come up so quickly, its rough how tight we have to do the schedule in the fall. Friggen people wanting to make Christmas presents. On a happier note though, I’ve been making more ‘finished’ products as of late. No people to teach, no amatures to be frustrated with, just me and my beads. I’m going to sell them at a gift shop in town as well as my first place, Jolynes. Ah, you just have to love women who will spend money on jewelry.

Its strange, I’ve been feeling, well, happier as of late as well. I don’t know what it is. Possibly its because I am finally getting physically well, my colors returning and I’m getting more sleep and all of that ‘health’ stuff. Bah on that but I am feeling better.

One thing I have been worried about though, is the near future, and what the hell I should do for the next few years. My basic plaan is to just finish up my high school work, and start college next fall at Kirkwood (the local community college, Seth’s first college venture as well!). I’d just do two years and get my AA most likely. I dunno, part of me thinks that would be nice to just go someplace close, and live at home for free and what not, but another part of me just CRAVES adventure. A place where nobody knows me, a place where I can be surprised. I mean I know I can be surprised here, but its not always positive! Ha ha okay, focus. I don’t know, I guess I’d just like some CLEAR answers. Some clear direction. I just wish God would smack me in the face with an answer book for at least, the next couple of years. I do know though that the unknown is what makes life exciting, so I guess I’ll just shut up and do what I have to do when it comes along. I maybe should look into a little therapy and maybe a weekly massage WHILE I wait though. Just a thought.

Music, plizah! Its been a music week. Oh yeah, gah. I wish I just owned every good album there ever was, my music is so pathetic…why does it have to be so expensive??? I guess I could have refrained from buying other things, but I didn’t think of it then. I do love music though, sweet lord. I can’t get enough. And I can’t STAND most of the top 40 lately, just, why does popular music have to suck so bad? It’s the easiest to access, but its mostly shit. Sorry God, I’ll stop being a potty mouth. Its ‘tripe’ then. There we go.

Oh man, and this is a drama. (Edited for the sake of the friend GIRL) has had a crush on BOY as long as I’ve known her, and hes always been a friend of hers as well, but I never knew how he felt about her. I just didn’t care to ask. The other night though, he randomly told me that he felt un-comfortable with her, that “Shes been hitting on me lately, and I’m so glad shes a year ahead of us and off at college, I mean come one. Its been A LONG TIME years, and I’ve tried to let her down easy but she just can’t take a hint. Don’t tell her I said anything though.” Heh! Oh, of course not. So now, I don’t know what the hell to do. Ah shit! I said hell! Damn it...I just said shit! Ah fuc... STOP! Okay, deep breaths. Whew. Alright. So now I’m torn between asking BOY to just tell her something finally, or, just still playing dumb with GIRL. But, I can’t just go on letting her think shes got a chance right now, but what else can I do? Nothing Cam. You can do nothing. Just be there and don’t lead her on. Okay, that’s what I’ll do.

I have been doing better as of late though, I love you all.