Dear Blog

I went to youth church this morning, and I just knew something was up. There was just this weird feeling I couldn’t shake. It seemed like everyone was acting strange, and I just felt so frustrated, and didn’t get into anything. Not the worship, not the message…it was all just weird. I though I must be the one with the problem, maybe I really had changed and being away for so long was a bad idea…

…well, I went back tonight, and I got the same feeling. Afterwards I went out with some ‘close’ friends and they told me that lots of shit has been happening, with the leaders, with the interns…with almost everyone. I’ll spare the details, but basically it’s your classic ‘youth group cult’ going on. There’s just so much SHIT going on its unbelievable. I never expected our group to be perfect, but I thought we were starting to have something a little different. I thought our leaders seemed to be doing a pretty good job, and that their hearts were in the right place…

…but apparently they weren’t. This is just really hard. I totally trust the information I got tonight, but I don’t want to believe it. Its so scary thinking that I have TRUSTED some of these leaders that are doing awful things right now. It is such a mess.

Uggg. I just want to pull my hair out. Katie has really had it rough during all of this too. Our group was one of the first places where she had anything even close to resembling a ‘family’ and now they’ve thrown her out…just because she went into a different area of OUR OWN CHURCH! For cripes sake.

I’m glad I haven’t been around. You don't want to be bias, you don't want to get angry, and you want to stay cool and make sure you have the facts striaght, and that they are correct...but man. They're totally missing the point of everything. I don't know why they're even there. Geez, I mean I'm not stupid...this has happened before...so its not even that surprising...but it just makes me so.....frustrated.