Last day.

Its the last day of the year.

I'm going to the formal tonight. I said I wasn't going to but I was talked into it a couple of nights ago. They were here with Lincoln, Mel, and Steve until like 3:30am, and then they have the nerve to talk me into going and having them come over for a sleep over afterwards tonight.

*Curses*

I hope tonight is halfway fun.

I hope I find time to write more about the year later...its a good day for an insightful post.

Eh?

I’m feeling random today, you’ll have to forgive me.

Pearl Jam. I love you. I can’t believe how much I love you. I can’t believe its taken me so long to fall in love with you. Yield and VS. will forever be a couple of my favorite albums.

I get my wisdom teeth taken out on Jan. 4^th. I’m scared as hell.

I finished Anna Kareninna a few days ago, and I simply didn’t know what to do with myself. I just sat there for a second holding my bookmark, and wondering what I’d do when I wanted to dip into that world for a few minutes, but couldn’t. Finally I closed the cover and put the book down. This book has changed my life, and I don’t say that lightly. I’ve learned so many things about life, people, beauty, and how I feel about God…its just amazing.

I just can’t express how great it is. I can’t wait to start ‘War and Peace’. God bless you Tolstoy.

I’ve felt prude as of late. I don’t know why really. Possibly because I watched television a bit over Christmas because I was sick, and I was once again…blown away by how bad our culture has gotten. Yes, its just television, it doesn’t represent our entire society, but so much of our media is viewed as the ‘ideal’, and this ideal makes me want to vomit. This is what happens when you don't have time for TV for months, you get shocked. And maybe I’ve just been replaying conversations with friends over and over again in my mind, and the content also disappoints me. I don’t know. I just feel prude.

I have the opportunity to go to a formal and then stay out all night with friends and get drinks on New Years eve, but I’m not going to. Why? Because I just don’t want to.

My room is coming together décor wise, I’m loving it.

Mom and I are going to go through my school work tomorrow, and very seriously look at it and figure out how much I need to do before the spring is over. We’ll also decide on what the subject of my ‘Senior Honors Project’ will be. Seth did film, and I’m thinking about doing “Bead History’ or some such nonsense. If I choose that it won’t require a lot of learning, just the processing of information I already know. I’m sort of dreading it, but it needs to be done and I need to get myself back into high gear.

I feel pretty ugly right now, and once again I don’t know why. I hate looking in the mirror, so I just put my hair up quickly and do without makeup. Its probably the worst thing to do when feeling so ugly, but eh. Not like I ever feel like a knock out but this whole thinking ‘Holy shit you have no hope.’ Every time I look at myself thing is getting old. HA.

Oh, and men I would marry in a heartbeat are: Jack Black, Christopher Walken, John Cleese, Billy Joe Amrstrong, Willam DeFoe, Al Pacino if he were younger, Tommy Lee Jones, that guy who plays 'Mr. Knightly' in 'Emma', maybe Dave Matthews, and Eddie from Pearl Jam. Oh and maybe Vince Vaugn (sp?), not sure on that one though.

So yeah, weird stuff lately, but that’s okay. Oh, and I have to change my template. After a while my old one starts to itch my brain. Or something like that.

*SNAP*

Enough of the X-mas.

Well I suppose I should say a few things about Christmas.

*Okaboji wasn’t as fun as it usually is. The main reason was because I was sick almost the whole time, and this months been so crazy, this years for cripes sake…that we were all just burned out. Blah, yeah…I just didn’t feel like being super festive or social. The girls and I did get to play tennis for four hours though, and that was great.

*We spent Sunday with Dad’s family. Oh my word, that really is torture. We pulled up to their driveway and I just KNEW we were all thinking the same thing. ‘Do we really have to go in?’ Guh. As Billy Joel said in that song of his that made no sense whatsoever, “We made it home alive.”

But just barely.

Usually I’m pretty excited about Christmas, and totally depressed when its over, but not this year.

Yeah, so I got lots of stuff and had fun when we were at home, I’d give it a B-.

Now I’m tired of talking about it so END.

Kids...

I'm back and alive, Christmas is over and I'm okay with that this year.

I'll write more later.

The Family Day.

Well lets see, I should probably give a short overview of the last view days lest I feel guilty.

Dad has taken off the last two days, so that’s been a bit weird. It kind of throws our whole ‘mental schedule’ for a loop. ‘Dads home at night, and during the day on weekends…so why the heck is it Thursday and Dads home?’ Ha, we hate the middle of the week feeling like the weekend.

But we are spoiled brats after all.

So Dads been home, and we’ve been doing ‘Christmas’ things non stop.

Today is the actual ‘Family Christmas’, which means this is the day that Mum and Dad give out their gifts. We’ve already opened a few presents, but Mom never lets us poen all of them at once so we’ve got more to go. She likes to ‘spread’ them out as I’ve mentioned before, that’s what she says at least. I don’t know though, she might just enjoy torturing us, I’m not sure.

Heh.

So far my favorite thing I’ve gotten is a Fossil watch with a smashing apple green band. Seriously, its so classy that when I tried it on I thought ‘Yeah Grace Kelly had nothing on me.’ Ha, yes. I’ve gotten really weird/random stuff this year though…but fun things I must say. Example: Grapefruit tea, pillows for my room (They’re NICE pillows, NICE pillows. I’m drooling over them as I type.), a watch, two small jeweled boxes, gift cards for Clinque, a collection of short stories by Leo Tolstoy (I wonder who would have gotten me that. HA.), a couple of Childrens books I loved when I was a kid, my own copies that is, the movie ‘Bandits’(Ha! That little Emily…) geez, I can’t remember what else…just a bunch of completely random things. And like I said we’re not even done yet, and I haven’t exchanged gifts with friends yet either.

Weird Weird Weird.

Yup, so it’s the family Christmas…and right now I’m on the computer writing nonsense! Well Mum, Dad, and Seth have abandoned us though, so I should feel to guilty. They’re up town buying Seth some ‘shoes’. What kind of shoes I have no idea, but he needs some I guess. Why did they wait so long? I don’t know the answer to that one either.

Seths can’t come with us to the lakes this year though, because of his stupid job. *sigh* So he works on Christmas eve and then would have to be alone all day if his friend Jerry hadn’t invited him to come have Christmas with him and his family. The thought of Seth being alone all day on Christmas makes me so sad…thank you Jerry.

We’re going to be up at ‘The Lakes’ like I said. We go every year…

…Ha! Niles ranting in the living room next to me right now, he wants them to get home so badly heres what he just said: “What are the stuck in traffic? Geez!”.

Poor kid, he just wants to open the rest of his damn presents.

Anyways, like I was saying every year we go up to Okaboji. It’s a lake city, and its where my Moms family used to all have summer homes at. We stay at a resort, swim in the pool, talk, open gifts, drink, play cards, go bowling, play racket ball, eat out…all that fun stuff. My Mom’s family is cool, she has five older brothers so we kids get to enjoy five uncles who are all pretty fun guys. I’m pretty fond of most of my cousins as well, except for Maddie and Susan. They are girls who are exactly my age and even though we used to have GREAT times together and I used to adore them, we’re now completely different from each other and I feel pressured to talk to them the whole time and it bothers me. Ah well. We’ll still have a good time.

Then on Sunday we head over to Britt to spend the afternoon with my dad’s family and get their Christmas out of the way. How do I think that will go? *cough* No comment.

Oh, and two other random facts. Lake Okaboji (AKA ‘Spirit Lake) is the place of my birth. So every Christmas I get to drive by the ‘Sprit Lake Hospital ‘ and think ‘So this is where it started for me eh? Hmmmm.’

Second fact, they have tennis courts at the resort. The girls, and myself to some extent…we’re beside ourselves with pleasure. Lets just say the girls are freaking out and I’m excited too.

Ha ha

The Fiesta was okay, we survived.

It snowed for the first time tonight, and Emily and Erik gave out their gifts.

...

Its already looking up as far as Christmas goes.

Fiesta from HELL.

Okay my last two posts are out of order, weird.

I have to go to a STUPID ‘fiesta’ today for our STUPID Spanish class. We have to speak exclusively in Spanish, and so of course I’m just THRILLED at the idea of going and talking about the weather and asking them to pass me the cheese...with people I hate!

Mom: You’re going, at least for Gail.

Laura: They suck Mom, they really do.

Camille: Its not even funny, and the tacos probably aren’t even going to be made out of meat because it will ‘offend’ their religion. What are they Jewish? NO, they’re not…they can’t even be cool and be Jewish. Well you know what? Wearing denim skirts with tee shirts from Walmart that are supposed to be what they call ‘trendy’, along with their hair that they ‘straighten’ with a CURLING iron for cripes sake… offends my religion.

Laura: Mom, its insane. You have no idea.

Mom: Yes yes, because you’re all so cool and high above those losers right? Well I’ve got news for you, theres probably a bunch of people out there who think you’re losers too.

Emily: That’s how it works, it’s a cycle.

Camille: But its not that they’re just losers, I’m okay with losers…self knowing losers at least. These people literally live under rocks and act like they’re hip on everything.

Mom: You’re going.

So we’re going.

You know its funny, I only practice at class and Laura and I are still more advanced then they are. And we missed the first three out of six classes. HA.

Mini Christmas.

We did have a little Christmas last night. Well beccasis, because we always have so many presents to open (Siblings presents, parental presents, friend presents, extended family presents, and random other presents.) Mom likes to spread our Christmas out a little as far as gifts go, just so the little kids aren’t overwhelmed and can enjoy it more.

So usually what we do is a few days before we have the ‘Immediate Family Christmas’, is that we siblings get into little bunches and take a night and give out our gifts. Usually Seth and I take the first night, but Laura had to come with us this year because of the tight schedule.

Anyways, it went really great. I gave everybody their gifts, and I think they were all pretty happy with them. Dad was the one I was most worried about though, I was so nervous about giving him his book! While he was opening it, I just sat at his feet, a complete emotional wreck. I practically started crying I was so nervous, and then Mom and the girls saw and of course yelled “OH MY GOSH, CAMILLES CRYING!” which of course improved things tremendously…

…oy. He loved his book though. It was wonderful.

Then the kids went and played with their gifts and Dad, Mum, Seth, and I talked in the kitchen and listened to music and all that lovely jazz, it was just plain nice.

Fellers came in tonight and we had a little Christmas party with them, that was pretty nice as well.

Oh man, the Christmas is only beginning though.

Messy.

*sigh*

Dear Someone,

I don’t understand relationships. Man, maybe I do…but I don’t think I want to right now.

Whats going on in this world? Will someone PLEASE, please show me a relationship that’s working.

Right now I’m talking about ‘romantic’ relationships. You know, the kind that everyone cares about even if they pretend they don’t.

Please, God, Please make me see that its going to be okay.

Please.

Geez, and I have barely had to deal with any of it yet.

Dear People,

You know who you are, and I’m sorry if things aren’t working out with well…other people.

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.

And I wish I didn’t care. Its all so complicated, does it have to be?

The girls were listening to this stupid song this morning, man, I just…okay…I need to sleep…

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry, c'mon let's try

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just want to know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

LIAR. Plus its just a lame song. I wish I could say I wasn't hopeful when I heard tha crappy damn thing this morning though.

Are they?

My nails are already chipping.

I finished Dad’s book today. Its really full, as I was putting the last pages in I got a little worried about whether or not they’d all fit, but they did, and just barely. I printed up ‘cover’ page, and loved how that turned out as well. Now its wrapped and under the tree, and just in time. Apparently we have to start giving out gifts tomorrow, and Seth and I always go first so it’s a good thing I got it done. It feels great.

Since the book is done, I no longer need to have supplies covering my bedroom floor, so I got to clean my room tonight! Its wonderful, I actually have carpet! I forgot about that…

…seriously though, I’ll get to sleep in a lovely almost completely clean room tonight. I’m thrilled.

I sold three bracelets today as well, and now theres only one more I need to get out of the house before Christmas, and I think I can take care of that on Monday. But yay for money right?

As far as the rest of my presents go, I’m pretty much done. I’ve got Chelsea and Martas almost finished, and Susan and Maddie’s (cousins I always exchange with) so I only need something for Neil (yet another cousin) and Katie dear of course, and I’m done! I was kind of a bad friend this year, and didn’t get many friends presents…but these kiddos I just couldn’t leave out. I do wish I could have gotten everyone something…bah, now I’m feeling guilty.

Next year Cam, next year you’ll be able to find time and money and get everyone something. Okay.

I’m making copies of a bunch of Seth’s cds right now, so no sleep yet. Seths always been so great about borrowing me music, I don’t know what I’d do without him.

*sigh* Its Friday night, and I'm in safe, warm, and yes, somewhat tense house...but I think thats okay for right now.

Hello, this is your frump girl speaking.

Hello baby.

Yes bloggers, I am madly in love with each and every one of you.

Okay not really, but as Willam (William? I don’t know how that man spells his damn name!) Defoe said on ‘Fishing with John’…

“I get a little cozy around bedtime.”

Woohoo. Good fun times.

Did I blog yesterday? I don’t remember, nor do I care to go and check if I did or not, so here we go.

What in the name of all that is holy and possibly sticky and hairy as a lost lollipop stuck under a couch cushion seat did I do today?

Well, first of all WORK. What a big fat surprise. And crammed a bit of school work in there too, how miraculous of me! Then…Mum and Laura needed hair cuts, so I took the ladies over to the salon…

...and damn me all to heck if I didn’t ask Diane if she had an opening for a manicure this very afternoon…and she did!

Now its not like I get manicures regularly, this was my first professional dealie job as a matter a fact.

So…she had a spot so I go to get a manicure! ‘Oh fun!’ I think ‘I’ll have nice clean pretty looking nails for the holidays! No big fake nasty claws, just nice clean shiny looking nails!’.

So I sit down, and she cleans, files, soaks, and scrubs my nails.

Well, when she was done with that, they didn’t look any better then what I do myself, such as cleaning, scrubbing, filing…

So she asks me if I want them painted and I think ‘Well if I’m paying fifteen bucks for nails that just look like they’ve been cut nicely and washed, sure I want them colored! For heavens sake, I don’t want it to be completely like I’ve just thrown fifteen dollars down the toilet!’

So I pick a red called ‘I’m really not a waitress’ and Diane paints my nails and does a lovely job. Seriously, they’re all smooth and have a professional looking coat of red with a slight sparkle…but with my child like hands and small narrow nails I sort of feel like a five year old whos been playing in my mothers nail polish.

So I toss Diane the fifteen bucks and try and stay positive and write it off as ‘Well I love Diane, seriously I do. She does an amazing job with my hair and shes a sweetheart so I really shouldn’t mind giving her more business. Plus you know I got to sit for forty minutes and chat with the ladies, so that’s good right? Yeah yeah, right.’

I’d be lying though if I said that every other time I looked at my nails tonight I didn’t think ‘Aw man…I could have bought a cd with that money. Or I could have tossed it in my laptop/camcorder fund…gah, new music! I need new music! But I also need new clothes, I guess fifteen bucks isn’t going to buy me a lot of new clothes anyways though…but I could have at least bought socks or a decent belt or something…’.

Ha ha, so as I sit here typing with my sparkling red nails I’d say we have a ‘love hate’ relationship, and I‘ll just leave it at that.

The other top stories for today are the following.

We went to Target and I bought myself a Star Wars action figure doll! Yes folks, I am a complete nerd. I have to say though this was my first, but I just couldn’t pass up a 'Leah doll in her cloud city garb'! IT WAS TOO COOL.

Also, Seth and I watched ‘Annie Hall’ tonight. I’ve been wanting to see it forever and now I have, it was really enjoyable in that realistic/cynical view on life Woody Allen always seems to have.

And I had my first taste of Canadian Whisky tonight, it’s a good winter drink I suppose. I liked it, very nice and warm. Not like I know anything though.

Love squirrels people, please. I know I do.

Dancing in the kitchen.

I’m not a big fan of Christmas music. It usually depresses me or annoys me to death, but we just got this compilation of that ‘festive’ stuff, and I really dig it. Its got that sassy swing style, Dean Martin, Nat King Cole, Shawn Calvin, Peggy Lee…all that jazz, yeah. Its good. So Sophia, Emily and I were just dancing to it whilst we cleaned the kitchen (Sophia loved ‘Feliz Navidad’, and insisted on playing it over and over, damn you Dora! May you live forever in utter damnation and never explore with your backpack and map again! May you stop brain washing my little sister with your infernal elementary Spanish!). * ahem* Here it my personal favorite…This version is preformed by Johnny Mercer and Margaret Whiting, and it’s the best I’ve ever heard.

I really can’t stay (Baby, it’s cold outside)
I’ve got to go ‘way (Baby, it’s cold outside)
This evening has been (I’ve been hopin’ that you’d drop in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice)

My mother will start to worry (Hey beautiful, what’s your hurry?)
And father will be pacing the floor (Listen to that fireplace roar)
So really, I’d better scurry (Beautiful, please don’t hurry)
Well, maybe just a half a drink more (Put some music on while I pour)

The neighbors might think (Baby, it’s bad out there)
Say, what’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

I oughtta say no, no, no sir (You mind if I move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (And what’s the sense in hurting my pride?)
I really can’t stay (Oh baby, don’t hold out)
Oh, but it’s cold outside

I simply must go (But baby it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (Baby, it’s cold outside)
The welcome has been (So lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)

My sister will be suspicious (Gosh Your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (Oh you lips are delicious)
Well maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before)

I’ve got to get home (Baby, you’ll freeze out there)
Say, lend me a comb (It’s up to your knees out there)
You’ve really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)
Oh, but don’t you see (How can you do this thing to me)

There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Well, think of my lifelong sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died)
I really can’t stay (Get over that hold out)
Oh, but baby it’s cold outside…

Overview, to you.

Alright darlings, a brief overview of the last view days.

*Friday, Dad’s open house, all day long.

Saturday- Dad, Laura, and I worked a gymnastics meet in CR for four hours because the boys had volunteer hours we needed to fill. After that, I took Dad shopping for Mom’s Christmas present from HIM. Seriously, if I don’t do it won’t get done until the day before, and the gift will usually suck then. We had success with that.

Then we came home and headed out to…who else? Fellers. Eric Feller’s twin brother and his family were visiting and Eric wanted to ‘show us off’ to them. It was a ball, Eric’s sister and her family came up as well and we all had a great time.

*Sunday- I ran back out to Fellers at 9:30 am because Eric Fellers sister-in-law saw some of my work and she wanted a bracelet, so I had to make her one before they took off.

At 11 we took off for Iowa City because the boys had to be at the field house for their first gymnastics meet. We got them there on time, and in their uniforms no less. The thing finally started at 2:30, and it didn’t end until 7:40! Well, the boys did pretty well. Nile won four medals total, he got 2^nd in rings, 3^rd in floor routine, and 4^th in something else, then his team won second over all. Erik won 2^nd in vault, and then his team won 1^st overall. Erik had much more competition in his age group though, so that’s why it seemed like Nile did better.

Anyways, after the award ceremony the team asked us if we wanted to go out to eat with them. I was like ‘DEAR GOD NO! I WANT TO GO HOME!’ but of course Mom and Dad said “sure” so then we spent two more hours with those people and finally drove home. Infernal. Oh, but we had to stop by Fellers to show them the medals of course. GAH!

Wow I’m a brat.

*Monday- As in Today. Woke, did chores, (My life) then worked a whole bunch on Dad’s present (The ‘memory’ book from our trip remember?). Grabbed lunch, ran to Spanish class (Uggggg.), ran and bought some more stuff for Dad’s book, came home, worked on the book SOME MORE, noticed that Fellers were now in our house (The boys came running in saying “Wheres the gypsy??? Kill the Camille gypsy!!!” so I paused ‘The Godfather’, shoved them all out of my room, and push the door shut, locking it securely behind me. Then, I resumed my film and grabbed the pics from Switzerland to focus on.

I needed a break so I decided to get my ‘work out’ over with. Your mind starts to get itchy after a couple hours of scrap booking.

So here I am, alive and taking yet ANOTHER break from the paper and scissors. Gah, I should probably try and make it an early night tonight though, I was up till 3 last night. YES, I am STUPID.

Dear Peter,

I'll stop stealing junk from your blog soon, you just pick the cooooooolest stuff.

Oh, and....

...I knew it. I am the GodSister after all. See below.


You are an Italian.


What's your Inner European?
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Restless, and?

Its been a long day and my body is amazingly tired, but my mind is restless.

Lately I’ve been having a hard time not thinking about the near future, and not worrying about what I’m going to do. I’m not afraid of the future, I’m just annoyed by the uncertainty. It doesn’t help that when ever I run into somebody I know, they ask about what I’m going to do when I graduate. I always give them the same stupid canned answer, that my plan is to get my Gen Ed done at Kirkwood unless something better turns up.

I mean honestly, its not the worst idea…its just…every time I have to say it AGAIN, I briefly analyze it in my mind.

Is that what I want to do? Can I handle living here for at least two more years? Can I handle NOT living with my family during the next two years? Wouldn’t it be great to just pack up and travel for a year or so, see the world? I’ve got the money to do that for a couple of months at least…I just don’t know.

I’ve also been dealing with some struggles as far as my ‘relationships’ go. Besides Linc and Katie, I can barely handle being with the kids down at church anymore. I have absolutely NOTHING in common with the kids in town, and though they seem very fond of my company, and ask to do things often…I rarely accept just because I know its pointless. Don’t even get me started with the kids in my ‘homeschool *shudder* group, I’ve NEVER, ever met someone I wanted to be friends with there.

Chelsea darling, is such a dear girl though. I’d say aside from Katie, shes my best girlfriend right now. That’s one thing, I find it SO hard to fine good girls to hang out with. Either they’re such partiers and divas that I would really never fit in with them, or…well…they’re airheads with almost nothing going on inside their brains besides their ‘boyfriends’ and the latest designer brand their wardrobe MUST completely consist of. Honestly, that sounds superficial but I have found it to be so true, at least in my area. Also, girls, as a rule, tend to be SO completive and jealous…that it just blows my mind. I hate to say it, but I often find guys easier to talk to. Not like I’m one of those girls whos group of friends consist entirely of guys just because she “Likes guys better.”, I WANT girls to chill with for heavens sake, its just a hard task to find them. Well, via the internet I’ve met many a charming lady, to be sure, but….its a bit hard when you want to call her and ask if she wants to go get coffee.

*sigh* I have my sisters though, and they’ve always been the girls I’m closest to, so I suppose I don’t need much more then them…its just a puzzlement. I can’t believe I just said puzzlement.

I’ve also had something else a bit stressful. I was talking to a dear friend the other night, and because of late hours and miscommunication…we had a very stressful, odd conversation. I don’t want to go into what happened, but, it was just a really confusing and troubling thing. Luckily though, its been resolved.

Why does my life seem so complicated right now? It really shouldn’t be, I am extremely busy, that’s true…but I just need to make myself relax, and give someone His due trust. Whats the worst that could happen anyways?

Let me see…the only career I can get into is cleaning public restrooms in Tennessee and I become an old spinster with no friends, thinning hair, and 12 cats.

Okay that’s probably not the healthiest thing to be doing right now, I’ll try and get more positive.

Its quite pathetic, but I’m only now finishing Anna Kareninna. I shouldn’t feel too awful about it though, I didn’t read heavy at first at all. I was reading multiple things and hardly had time to breathe this fall much less read, but now I’m on the home stretch.

I must say though, this completely saddens me. I think that’s one of the reasons I haven’t really pushed myself to finish it, because I don’t want to. I don’t want this little world I can tap into whenever I want, to be over. Sure, I can read it again and again, and I plan on doing so, but it won’t be the same. I’ve never been so in love with a book. I’ve never cared about characters and their struggles, like I care about the ones in Anna. I feel like…even though I’ve read hundreds of books, and some that people would consider ‘great’, that this is my first ‘great, real, amazing…take your pic’ book. I adore it, in so many ways.

God truly gave this world a gift when he gave it Leo Tolstoy.

b

My eyes are burning, I’m wiped. Heres a quick update on my completely pathetic life.

*We’ve been getting ready for Dad’s Christmas open house. That’s pretty much all we’ve been doing all week. Tomorrow is the big day, thank everything that is holy.

*I saw my dance costumes for the spring show…eh. Theres three and I only like one, but whatever. I only care about the routines anyways.

*Blah.

I’m still alive, I’ll write more later.

Alrighty then.

Lets get this sucker up to date.

We gave our last bead class of the year last night, and that feels amazing. I just have to more orders to get to people and then I can take a nice long break from 'forced bead work'.

Also- Today was the last day of babysitting for that church group. I'm going to be honest and say that, even though I complained about it all the time and it WAS a pain in the neck, I'm going to miss a few of those kids. Namely Victor, Mikayla, and Brayden. Brayden's mum actually gave Em and I each a card today, thanking us for being so paitent with him (He screamed non stop for the first few weeks.) and she gave us $30. I was really surprised, it was so nice for her to think of us.

I decided about a week ago that what I wanted to give Dad for Christmas - was a memory book of our trip from last year. He used to mention how nice it would be to have something like that, and so I finally decided to do it. I started yesterday. I'm pasteing all our pictures and other random things, (tickets, postcards, money....you get the idea) on colored cardstock and then I'll put them in sheet protectors and put THOSE in the album I bought for it. I'ts time consuming, but I really think hes going to like it. I am almost done with London already, and that was a big chunk of it. So heres hopeing I can get it done before Christmas.

From Pete's blog, I kind of get into being a Pieces...

You are 47% Pisces

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

All dayer.

I just got back from an all dayer with the groupies. Apparently someone is doing some sort of ‘project’ and they wanted to highlight our drama group. So we had rehearsals all morning long and then taped this afternoon. Lets just say it was a looooooooong day, so long. It was hard not to get angry too. I mean, we’ve been doing these dramas for months now, and they’re not at all complicated, so when one person would completely screw up and we’d have to start over, that got REALLY frustrating. DOOM ON YOU PEOPLE.

Oh, and my neck has been severed.

Okay that’s a little dramatic, but I am hurt and I have proof.

We do this one drama and I am murdered in it, well, a bunch of us are. Anywho, Joe is one of the guys who kills us, and he is completely retarded. BAH. So he came up behind me, when I wasn’t ready, and grabbed me by the waist and ‘pretended’ to slit my throat with the false sword. Except the problem was, he was too rough and actually DID yank the sword across my neck and now I have a long cut there. Yeah that was great, the bleeding wasn’t really bad at all, but I have bruising and all that now too. Ha, I guess its pouting time.

Yadda yadda yadda, we got all the filming done and now I’m home. *smile* So now its time to either read or take a nap.

Zombies.

Dad and Mom, and Eric and Jean Feller, all went out to dinner last night. This means, that we older Studer kids had to watch 10 children under the age of nine. Woopie.

Seth, Em, and I had the cool group at our place. Kenny, Erik, Alec, Brady, and Nile. Our evening included an excursion to the ‘climbing rock’ (Thank God nobody died), the water tower (Which of course we had to slap the number of years we are and make a wish), then through the woods and back home. We also made supper, which included delicacies such as microwave popcorn, pizza, root beer, and the ‘go-gurt’ stuff. After the squirrels finished their wonderful meal, we had an AMAZING pillow fight. Once again I’m glad nobody got killed. We had judges, and used the ‘advance after defeat method’. So yes, I was out pretty early in the game. Seth and Em duked it out in the finals, and I must say they were quite close. Seth had the power, but Emily had the control. Ha ha it was fun. Nobody won though, because once they got back in their positions for the last round, they decided to charge me instead, and our organized sport turned back into a free for all. Mayhem, all the way. Then we played Zombie tag, which is when you break it down, pretty much just running around with flashlights in the dark and screaming at the top of your lungs the whole time. The humans (they have the flashlights) scream in terror, and the zombies scream menacingly.

Lets just say when I woke up this morning I didn’t have a voice for two hours.

Today in short.

We woke up this morning and were surprised by the younger kids school advisor. Mom had booked an early meeting and had forgotten about it completely. So that was a fun surprise,I got out of the shower and found everybody dashing around in their PJs trying to clean the whole first floor in 0.1 minute. RIOT.

Then, I went shopping in Cedar Rapids. I found some GREAT gifts, and I'm almost completely done with Christmas shopping now. I'm not super happy about what I got Mom, but shes so hard to shop for that I'm just going to have to give this stuff a shot.

I also have to get my gift for Dad going. I'm making him, well, its sort of a scrap book. I bought a really nice album and I'm going to place all our photos and other random things from our trip to the UK and Europe inside. I hope I can get it done before Christmas though, ay yi yi.

Oh, and I had drama practice tonight as well. Man, I'm wiped. Shopping for four hours and then three hours of stupid drama. I've got to go to bed.

STAY WARM, ALL OF YOU.

The last Wednesday in November.

Today was an ‘inside’ day for me. That means, that I didn’t have activity after activity planned outside of the house. So basically I finished up on my monthly chores (We switch tomorrow), did a little school work, and wrapped presents for 6 hours with Mom. I’m not kidding, we wrapped presents for 6, long, stinking hour, and we were machines! We are not slow wrappers, it was just the amount! Holy cow, so at least we’re more then halfway done with the gifts and the tree looks less lonely now. Still, geez. Yeah this holiday is for celebrating the birth of Christ, yeah that’s it.

The point of all that was to say, that I was getting a little ‘edgy’ from being inside so long. Then, I remembered I had dance class tonight. ‘Oh good’ I thought ‘That will at least get me out and get my blood moving fast.’

Dance was awesome again this week. Joan taught us a new tap step (It was freaking complicated, eight rotations in all.) and hardly anyone got it. Except for Claire and I that is. We were all trying to iron it out when Joan saw Claire and I had figured it out so she asked us to demonstrate! That’s always fun. Full of pressure, but fun. Oh! And holy cow, we found out we’re going to use that ‘80sish number for the spring show, and Joan placed me front and center! Gah, I’m happy…but freaked out! Okay not really. I’ve had it before, but I never really cared about doing that good before. Man I’m being so immature about all this, just ignore this paragraph people.

After dance (Which really did get my blood going, we were smoking!) I came home and ran around doing more chores. I was still hyper, so I decided to work out, on the weight machine and all that. Then, after about 45 minutes of working out, I still couldn’t calm myself down so I went for a walk.

Now, its absolutely freezing here people. Its gotten so cold I can’t believe it. I left at about nine fifteen, so obviously it was completely dark. I stepped outside and filled my lungs with that freezing air, and it felt so amazingly good. I put my cell phone in my pocket, turned on my music, and started to jog. There must have been no moisture in the air, because every time I breathed, my breath came out as a thick grey fog. I mean obviously it was just the frozen moisture, but I’ve never seen it like this. Perhaps it was because I was running, I don’t know.

Along with my frozen breath, there were two other lovely things. One, was the sparkling grass. I do not exaggerate by calling that, it was literally sparkling. A light frost covered each blade, and when the light caught that frost, it was dazzling. The second thing, was the sky. Like I said, it was a dry night. There were no clouds, and no moisture hanging low in the sky. When you looked up, all you saw was this brilliant navy expanse, with about a million stars shining along with our moon. I realize that this is incredibly lame, but I’ve always thought that Iowa’s winter skies look like a huge piece of navy silk, with dazzling diamonds sprinkled all over it.

I ran the last few blocks, then down our hill, and up our side walk. My glasses proceeded to fog over the second the warm air hit me and I could feel every muscle in my legs, because they were so cold in contrast. I had finally calmed down.

Shoo...

Monday and Tuesday were busy as sin, I don't want to write about them.

Go days, I'm through with you. Go on now, shoo.

*gasp*

I'll blog soon, I promise.