Tres done

I just got done with my microbes exam, I don't feel very confident about it at all, but its OVER.

I had four huge exams this week, and I am so so so so so so glad its Friday. I am so glad they're OVER. I was FREAKING out about my Anthro exam, but that turned out to be my easiest. (Thats probably just because I prepared my ass off for it though.)

You can't ruin my day. Guh though... I feel so tired and hungry. I think I ate before tennis lessons yesterday, maybe... meh.

"Where does the good go?" by Tegan and Sara is the song of the week, without a doubt.

That's it, I'm going to go get a breakfast bar and do my Gen Psych homework. Enough goofing off.

*yawn*

I'm at school and I don't know how I did it but somehow I made it here early. All my homework is done and I am NOT awake enough to study for Anthro yet so I'm just chilling.

Yesterday was really fun. The girls had clinic down at the club so I drove them and read and listened to music in the observation deck. These two young boys (Maybe 10 - 13) were playing in the court right below me and they made me laugh a few times and then started asking me what I was listening to, reading, etc. So we got a little chummy and I cheered for them when they'd win a point, it was fun. Apparently my new role is "Their biggest fan". Next week I might be their ball girl. I love rainy afternoons at the club.

Afterwards we caught an evening showing of "The Corpse Bride" which was fabulous. I even got a little teary eyed at the end.

Then dinner at Chilis, and a rainy drive home. A lovely, lovely Sunday.

But now its Monday, and I have class in five minutes so I better go.

✬

And aqueduct is the provider of the music for the evening. Tres ingenious yet not pretentious.

~Don't give me love you've left behind, because I am your bright star in the sky, and I will up there waiting patiently for you. ~

It's been a good day. It's been hard, but it's been good. There is nothing better the the relief that comes after a heated angry discussion that ends in understanding. There is nothing better then the way your body feels after a long cry.

~Only in a heart that is truly open is there room for yes, and no.~

I feel rather confused tonight. It's funny, sometimes I feel so content with the person I am, and at other times I just KNOW that I'll never be good enough, strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or kind enough. Does it really even matter though? Sometimes I find it so amazing how often I analyze myself. I mean I suppose its natural, its easy to focus on yourself because that's who you are, and we're a very central focused species. Meh... who cares. Sometimes I just wish I could kick myself out of my mind for a while. That's not all I'm confused about anyways.

~Only in a heart that is truly open is there room for yes and no.~

Maybe thats true.

✬

-

I am amazingly annoyed at the moment.

*

Man I LOVE buying pure candy music from itunes. LOVE it.

Where do we go...

Tegan and Sara, and friend of mine you are!

Okay so updates, let me see...

1.) My gen psych exam went pretty well I think, I should get at least an A, maybe an A- on the exam and thats good because I was feeling really nervous about that class.
2.) I had some more stitches removed today.
3.) Tennis has been great these last couple of days, I think my private lessons are really paying off. Except we've had lots of problems with the stalkers lately. It's getting really bad... the parental units aren't sure if they're going to let us go play after dark anymore. That really sucks because I love playing at night.
4.) I just had a meeting with a bride to be and her future mother-in-law and I am now going to be designing jewelry for the bride and her entire wedding party! I'm really excited, but more nervous then excited. They really liked my work so I think I should be able to pull it off. Ugg, I've had so many bead orders lately, I'm just getting the samples for the Kirkwood bookstore finished, I need more time to breathe!
5.) Um, I'm still a girl.
6.) Shocker right?
7.) A couple of my classmates are driving me crazy, they've gotten this crazy idea in their heads that I'm this genious and are always asking to see me notes and they ask my opinions on the lectures as well. AND they want me to study with them. They really must be insane. I've taking to hiding in the computer lab with headphones and textbooks before Anthropology. So tres... subtle?
8.) Fall makes me feel ... weird. Every fall it's a little different but theres always that same undertone. Ha, so vague of me. I'd rather not go into detail, because I can't really even put my finger on it. But its there.

Yeah... I'm not being productive, so I need to go.

guh... meh?

Man I did NOT want to get out of bed this morning, in the worst possible way. I feel like walking over to the dude in the back of the computer lab and poking him with a stick and telling him to turn his trash head music off because its seriously offending me.

Microbes was a BALL today. I love love love this class. I can't get enough of amoebas and parisites, yay for microrganisims being pathogenic! Ooo.. tres pathogenic... I like it.

I haven't watched the news forever, whats going on in the world??? And I'm seriously asking, are we doing okay? I think I'll go find a newspaper before Anthropology starts, now I'm getting parinoid...

Most assuredly

Sometimes I can't believe the nonsense I post here. I need to stop being so lazy.

~

It was warm, and now its cool again. Oh tres Iowa.

I only had General Psychology this morning, so my school day was short. We have our first exam in two days, and I'm quite nervous about it. I'm studying though, and thats all I can do.

During break today Chris from Social Problems told me that he took the quiz last night, and offered to give me a hand if I wanted to take it real quick. I really like the kids from my social problems class, we're becoming quite the little group. They make me laugh, really laugh, which is a rare thing for me to find. Anywho, I thought it was nice of him. I love getting anything I can out of the way.

And...

I just finished the homework I wanted to finish for tonight, and it turned out pretty dang good, and I'm fairly happy with the grade we got for our debate project, and my kitten is sleeping at my feet, and speaking of sleeping we're sleeping in the living room, and of course that means I'm on the couch, and I forgot my alarm clock up in my room, and I thought I had brought down everything I would need but I guess I was wrong, and I'm going to need it because I shant wake up without it, and Elliot Smith is singing in my ears, and its odd because I know he is no longer here, and that is sad because I think his death was just that, and I don't like to mention in this stupid post because I don't want to demean it but I guess its a little late for that, and I really need to go get that clock before I forget, and I am worried about school, and I don't want to go, and I'll probably be fine, and I still don't want to go, and Dad and Mom are home, and Mom had a birthday, and we gave her gifts, and I need to sleep, and I guess I wasn't a big fan of periods tonight.

~The AND~

Alright

I'm feeling slightly more sane, but only slightly.

Maybe thats just because Mom and Dad have been gone since Thursday morning though. They won't be back until late tomorrow either.

Just wanted to let you all know that the 6 youngest Studer kids are rocking out the house, oh yeah, rocking.

Stay beautiful.

you know...

...I'm not trying to bitch, but I love how the first thing my mother says to me when I get home from school is a complaint about how I screwed up a household chore. She knew my debate was today, she knew that I had kids over at my house for 12 hours this weekend to study, she knew that I had spent all of my free time Monday and yesterday on the stupid paper for the debate - yet telling me that I didn't load the dishwasher right was more important then asking me how the fricking debate went! HA ! Maybe I am an ego maniac, the above most assuredly would make it seem that way wouldn't it???? Why do I care so much about what she thinks? Why am I so parinoid????

AND IF YOU THINK THAT OUR DANCE WAS ALL IN THE HIPS OH WELL, THEN DO THE TWIST!!!!

Do the freaking twist!

well

I feel a little better this morning. Maybe. I think I'm going back to not caring. And so the wheel of my emotions spins.

We had our debate today. I am so so so glad its over. I wrote the paper and said I would run the videos so Breahna, Chris, and Corey said they would present. The presentation went well, but when it was over and the students started asking questions this snobby little jerk of a boy tried to come and disprove every single point of our debate. I grabbed the mike and crushed him into the ground. We went back and forth until class was over, but I think Dr. Jen was on my side. I didn't speak like a pretentious snob like he did.

Man, we are so glad this is over with. Our group has really bonded over this debated. I think we met a total of 14 hours. They're really great kids... I'm honestly almost happy that we were given this project so early. Now we're all friends and can enjoy it for the rest of the semester.

I am just so glad this thing is over.

I can't talk to Mom anymore without wanting to tear my hair out. I think she and Dad are trying to find something to pin my attitude on. Luckily I don't do anything they can really use. I work, go to school, do homework, household shit (only they say I don''t do it well enough.), I work out, and play tennis. In the past they would blame it on my friends, or the internet, or a group I was in, but now they've got nothing on me.

I think that's making it worse though. SHIT.

~

Man... I think I have really realized that i just plain suck. Maybe I am an ego-maniac, even though I do try not to be. I feel like I have nothing more to offer right now. And maybe I'm a wimp, but right now I just feel so tired and I can't stop crying. I hate myself so much tonight. I'm a pointless, worthless, selfish, hideous human being. I'm even more of a loser to write down stupid dramatic stuff like this is a stupid internet blog. I just feel like nobody else gives a shit.

~Tres Free Internet~

Wow, its been over a week since I've last written, I've really been slacking off. I'll try and think of some fun highlights.

School - School is driving me crazy this week. My group in Social Problems have the first debate this semester, and we're on the "no" side for Doctor Assisted Suicide. Like I said we're one of the first groups going, so we've had less then a week to prepare for our debate, and its a "group" thing which would seem like it would be easier but actually its much harder. We have to split up the work because everyone needs credit, and we have to incorporate everyones ideas for where this project should go. AND we have to write a "group" paper which I think is the stupidest idea ever. How can you write a group paper???? Everyone has a different writing style! BAH!

My group met at my house last night, we worked for five hours and I feel like we still have nothing to stand on. And they're coming back tonight. I think I'm going to just tell them that I'll write the damn paper and put all of their names on it, I just want to get it DONE.

On top of this stupid debate, I have a huge test for microbes tomorrow which I am a little nervous about. I think it's going to be okay though, I've been paying attention in microbes and taking very good notes. Oi vey.

Want to hear something gross? I was playing tennis on Friday night, and I opened a wound that I had the stitches removed from just that morning! (I don't really want to tell you why I had stitches in my back, but I will. I had three small *shuddering as I write the word* "moles" on my back, and one below my collar bone, so I had them removed 8 days ago! It took an hour and a half, four shots, and twelve stitches later and I was free of them! The stitches and the pain of having them removed drove me nuts, but the doctor wanted them gone, she doesn't want me to risk the skin cancer. HA! So yeah, I was playing tennis the day I had the stitches removed and I bent over to pick up a ball and the wound on my lower back that was supposed to have healed ripped open. Luckily the ER is right next to the tennis courts to the girls and the friends we were playing with walked me over and I had it stitched back up. It was quite dramatic and the girls and I cracked jokes with the doctor as I laid on my stomach being sewn back up and the nurses doubled over in laughter, we made some of our best jokes ever. It was quite the night. So yeah, thats my gross story. I'm on antibiotics right night and I still have some stitches but I'm "mole" free.)

Needles to say having all these stitches in my back has really effected my working out and tennis routine, but tennis is going good. I am loving my private lessons, and the girls are loving being "intermediates" at the club. They're there right now, the little goslings.

Yay for coffee. I'm at Panera right now taking a break from studying, and using the free internet. (See Seth? I gave Panera a little money, but I'm using their internet and taking up a whole booth so don't be mad at me! I'm sabotaging the communists form within!)

At least I'm not being as rude as the woman in the table next to me. She's been on her cell phone for forty five minutes now, and she's talking quite loudly and using "Oh, my, gawds." every five minutes. I'm just sitting here with my headphones typing quite softly.

This debate is seriously killing me though people, why have I suddenly become group leader? Why is it my house people want to meet at? WHY??? I'm about ready to use Dr. Kevorkian's suicide machine myself.

Ha, no, I jest. That man scares the crap out of me. I am ready to empty my money market account, fly to Switzerland, get a job, and chill for a couple of years though. I am seriously on the edge people. Seriously.

Tres 30 mins

I'm at school and I have 30 minutes until 'Cultural Anthropology' starts, and I just finished the reading for it so I'm giving myself a BREAK. I just got out of 'Microbes', which was actually really fun this morning. I have to write a paper on Mad Cow disease though, which I am sure I will be thuroughly disturbed by. *shudder* She shall survive though folks.

Crap, and I have to go to the doctor at 1:00, I forgot! That means I have ten minutes to get home and then get to the hospital... d'oh.

I need to go study for Social Problems right now... blast it all to heck.

I would KILL to be able to paint a wall, toss some glitter up in the air, arrange some flowers, make a bracelet, or even just mow a lawn right now. This gypsy color lover is dying from the mundane black and white of texts. *sigh*

Enough drama, I'll be good.

tres dental

Mom told me to brush Sophia's teeth, so I went back to her bathroom and pulled open the drawer to get out a toothbrush. There were seven to choose from, in styles ranging from My Little Pony, to Powerpuff girls and Hello Kitty, and don't forget the infamous Disney Princesses.

She has SEVEN toothbrushes. What is up with that? What kind of a child are my parents raising? Its not that they're lazy and don't throw away old toothbrushes, Sophia just likes verity when it comes to her dental hygiene! Oi vey!

Oh, and I musn't forget to mention that Sophia also uses three different brands of children's toothpaste.

commie?

Dad: "Where are you guys going?"

Camille: "Down to the club, we have a private lesson with Scott at 4:30."

Dad: "Okay here, take my credit card and fill the car up. Go to Fast Stop. No wait, go to John's."

Camille: "I hate John's, why can't I just fill up at Casey's?"

Dad: "Because they're communists. Go to John's."

Camille: "What? How do you know that they're communists? Do you KNOW the people who own Casey's?"

Dad: "Yes, and they're communists."

~

(The next day)

Emily: "Hey look, there's Ron!"

Camille: "Aw, I love Ron! Ooo and hey, he's buying communist gas! Man, he is the BEST."

Emily: "Amen."