Frustrated.

I was so frustrated today. I don’t know why. Maybe its cabin fever, maybe its feeling trapped in this town, maybe its being sick of all the junk we have to deal with, I don’t know. Maybe it was Spanish class and feeling like almost every other student came from distant planet. Maybe it’s the cold frozen world right now.

I hate the way it looks. Its hard, dead, grey, bitter, messy, ugly, frustrating.

Maybe its this house. Maybe it’s the fact that I might have to start working a lot more, on top of everything else. Maybe its just me. I feel useless today. I just want to scream. I mean I appear fine on the outside, but inside my head feels like it’s going to bust, like it needs to bust…I just want something to happen. This is driving me crazy. I want out.

Standing here
The old man said to me
"Long before these crowded streets
Here stood my dreaming tree"
Below it he would sit
For hours at a time
Now progress takes away
What forever took to find
Now he's falling hard
He feels the falling dark
How he longs to be
Beneath his dreaming tree
Conquered fear to climb
A moment froze in time
When the girl who first he kissed
Promised him she'd be his
Remembered mother's words
There beneath the tree
"No matter what the world
You'll always be my baby"
Mommy come quick
The dreaming tree has died
The air is growing thick
A fear he cannot hide
The dreaming tree has died

Oh have you no pity
This thing I do
I do not deny it
All through this smile
As crooked as danger
I do not deny
I know in my mind
I would leave you now
If I had the strength to
I would leave you up
To your own devices
Will you not talk
Can you take pity
I don't ask much
But won't you speak
Please

From the start
She knew she had it made
Easy up 'til then
For sure she'd make the grade
Adorers came in hordes
To lay down in her wake
She gave it all she had
But treasures slowly fade
Now she's falling hard
She feels the fall of dark
How did this fall apart
She drinks to fill it up
A smile of sweetest flowers
Wilted so and soured
Black tears stain the cheeks
That once were so admired
She thinks when she was small
There on her father's knee
How he had promised her
You'll always be my baby

Daddy come quick
The dreaming tree has died
I can't find my way home
There is no place to hide
The dreaming tree has died

Oh if I had the strength
Take me back
Save me please

Its so funny, I keep myself busy during the day, and try to push these feelings aside. But at night, the task becomes much harder.