Saturday and Things.

Well hmm. I am feeling quite a bit better then I was last night, let’s try and break a whole long story into points as to why I’m feeling better.

*I talked with the sisters last night about why I have been ‘grumpy’ lately, told them I wasn’t mad at them, I am just frustrated and feeling smothered. I think they understood. We watched the kids together, joked around, laughed our heads off, and went back to being the allied force of the Studer sisters. I don’t know what happened, we were cleaning the kitchen while the kids played in the yard and I made a joke about something and the girls just busted up, Emily laughed so hard she had tears running down her face. It felt so good to not be mad at each other, it was as if something clicked and the tension was gone. It faded away in our laughter.

*Mom was really fairly nice to me on Friday, I think she felt sorry about how bad things got Thursday night, even though she’s still probably feeling the way she did, it’s kind of nice to think that she has some flicker of love in her heart for me. *Laugh* Okay maybe I’m being a little dramatic, but still. When that woman is angry with me I can’t stand it. The best was when her and Dad came home from their date. She walked in the house and said it looked wonderful, and then we all sat in the living room together and talked about their evening. I sat at her feet wrapped up in a blanket, and I didn’t even worry about my parents being disappointed with me. Then she pulled out three Target gift cards, and gave one to each of us girls. She said they were for babysitting, but we haven’t gotten paid for babysitting in years, well, at least not for just a few hours like last night. All I am saying is that the gift cards were a peace offering, as sick as that may seem. When Mom handed me mine I knew it was her little way of saying she was sorry. *sigh* I will get through this. I will try my hardest, and do whatever I can to please my family. But if that doesn’t work I’m not going to kill myself over it. I’m done with feeling frustrated and guilty. I will trust in Christ, and he will pull me through.

Okay, so that’s my ending to Friday night, here’s my Saturday in somewhat of a nutshell.

*Woke up, stared out my window at the bright green leaves of summer and hopped out of bed. Showered and all that good stuff.
*Did chores around the house. Went through room. I am trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible, I feel a need to get organized, find my center you might say. Anywho, I have already cleaned out quite a bit of stuff, a lot of clothes and the like, so that’s fantastic to me.
*Put away the boys laundry, it’s quite a chore, it took me an hour and a half. Little savages and their infernal clothes.
*Did my weight training. Weird I know.
*Cleaned some more.
*Got on the computer, talked with lovely people, replied to e-mails, did my little computer chores, all that good stuff.
*Then there was the walk. Now, I was debating on whether or not I should even go, I was exhausted and the weather was a little iffy, what with the darks skies and all the rain in the afternoon. But in the end I forced myself to go. I grabbed my diskman, slammed in new batteries and a Greenday album, put on my running shorts and Nike airs, and ran out the door. I had gotten to the river, it took me about fifteen minutes, when I felt the first rain drops. Soft warm little dots of water, and then about 30 seconds later it was coming down in sheets. ‘Oh man, what should I do? I have got my diskman with me, and do I want to be soaking wet for another hour and fifteen minutes?’ Sure I do. I held on to my diskman really tight (Thank heaven it’s old and a piece of crap so I really didn’t worry about it that much.) and started running fast towards downtown, and possibly the safety of dad’s office or something. It was the most fantastic thing ever. I ran and ran, the rain was so warm and coming down in such fantastic amounts, it really was like a ‘shower’. Oh man it felt great, I was still by the river and the raindrops plinked on it’s surface which was only about ten feet below me. I probably looked like a savage, running in the rain like that, but I don’t care. I haven’t had as much fun in a long time. It was gorgeous. Anywho, it rained straight for about 20 more minutes, and then off and on for the rest of my walk. I was soaking wet, and the only real problem I had with this was I felt myself getting a blister from the wet skin on my left ankle. It hurt really bad but I pushed on. It got dark and fireflies twinkled, darling little insect pixies floating in the hot summer air.

I got home and Erik and Nile laughed at how wet I was, Nile said I looked like a cat that fell in a toilet, and Emily screamed “Oh my gosh! Look at your ankle!”

I had taken my shoes off at the front door, and now I looked down at me foot. I was still wearing a sock but the back half was covered in blood, literally bright red. I pulled it off and the back of my ankle was covered in thick dark blood, and to be honest the skin was not looking so pretty. So yes, I guess I did have a blister.