Well, that's that.

I bought books for my fall classes tonight. The Kirkwood store had all but one that I needed, so that was pretty sweet. I'm starting to get excited for classes to start, but, it's also depressing. I'm still clinging to this summer with every fiber of my being, even though it hasn't been all that great.

I made myself take my allergy meds today, that was a big mistake. My body can't handle those drugs, they make me so tired and they render my brain almost completely useless. Mom wanted me to drive on the way to CR tonight and it was so hard to stay awake... oi vey. They make me so emotional as well, I cried this afternoon for almost no reason and I totally snapped at a few people. I hate this medicine.

I think we're going to Omaha this weekend! I was just there last weekend, is that not insanity on a stick??? This trip shall be far different then the last though, we'd be going to the zoo. Heh. I like the zoo though, it reminds me of when I was younger. What is with me and nostalgia lately? Good grief. Anyways...yeah. I think we're going to Des Moines tomorrow, spending the night there, and then heading to Omaha. Weirdness.

Dad and Mom = Unpredictable, crazy, frustrating, surprising, and mind boggling.

Tennis tonight = So frustrating that I wanted to murder somebody. ( I think that was mostly the meds though.)

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So many things are different. So many things feel alien. I just wish something would happen, or that things would go back to the way that they were. I hate feeling like I've jumped off a building and that I'm just frozen in the air not knowing whats going to happen. I want everybody to be happy. I want to be happy.

I overheard a bunch of girls talking in the bookstore tonight about how they didn't care about their classes at all, and they joked about the shortcuts they were going to take so that they'd be able to do as little work as possible. I was blown away, this is community college for heavens sake. How hard can it be? They were all dolled up, giggling and smiling pretty smiles. They appeared to be quite shallow, but for a minute I wished that I could be like them. Getting all dressed up and decked out every day, laughing with a bunch of other silly girls, and only caring about superficial things. I think it would be so much easier then caring.

Luckily the moment was fleeting. I went back to worrying about the state of my family, and what the heck I was going to do with the rest of my life quite quickly.

In other news - My two younger sisters are getting more beautiful everyday. I don't know what we're going to do with them. And I can't even imagine how lovely Sophie is going to be... oi vey.

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Okay Camille, you'll be happy tomorrow. Now say goodnight.

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Goodnight.

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~ "There's gonna come a day when you feel better. Your eyes are free and easy on that day... Just when that day is coming, who can say? Who can say?" ~