Halloween.

Well, last night we went trick or treating, and tonight I hung out with the friends and helped pass out candy at this huge Halloween party thing, I don’t know what it was…I just went along with the flow. If I ever see a piece of candy again I’m going to shoot myself. Seriously though, I hung out with the ‘friends’ all day long. We had drama practice this afternoon, and it felt like it took FOREVER. Oy. Then we hung out in the coffee shop, and then Halloween crap, then dinner…bleh. My brain feels fried. Ah well, peers. Eh.

(Wow, that post was like brilliant. And completely understandable. WHA?)

*snicker*

I am wearing a 'Where the wild things are' shirt right now which is blue and includes Max and various monsters...this makes my life good. Man thats a great book. Mother and I are about to depart with father, hes going golfing in CR with the other 'Manly Stock Brokers', because this is what they do. They make money off of old rich people, and then they try and get a little white ball to travle along some grass in a straight line so that it falls into a stupid little hole. After that they will probably go get drinks and talk about politics and sports. I do not understand it. However, it gives Mother and I an excuse to go shopping and to dine at 'Granate City' (The new fave place to dine) which is obviously a good thing. I mean sure, I'm probably going to spend money I don't have right now and feel guilty about it when I'm done but hey...thats how drugs work. And I'm all for drugs right now.

Oh, speaking of personal drugs...I'll take Anna Kareninna with me in the car, WHY ANNA? WHY? WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAPPEN? GAH.

The kids table.

Sophia and I spent the afternoon together. We cleaned the house, listened to music, peeled potatoes and chopped vegetables together. It was so grand, her and I snuggled together on the chaze and played ‘Kitty and Caterpillar’ together as well, with her stuffed animals of course. She was the kitty, and I was the caterpillar. We had many grand adventures, and a little emotional drama when the kitty her caterpillars feelings incredibly, but in the end all was wonderful.

Lately, I’ve really enjoyed little kids. I’m not a huge fan of newborns, sure they’re sweet and you have to love them somewhat, but theres something about kids whos minds have really started to show signs of development. Say, 18 months to five years. They’re just charming, they have speech, and much more personality…but still they possess that innocence. Well and of course 7 and 8 year old boys are a dream as well…man…my little bros have been so sweet! Okay I guess lately I just don’t like teenagers or adults. They’re no fun, and you can’t goof off with them or imagine wild schemes. Also, they just won’t run around in the dark screaming at the top of their lungs while you play zombie tag will they? Nor will they beg you to jump on the trampoline with them and have stunt competitions with them. And will they ever just fly of the handle and throw their arms around you and hug you ever so tight? I think not.

Whats so fun about wearing hose and heels while you watch your manners as you dine with adults? I mean sure its okay, but bring me the kiddie table, complete with classic PB and J and heated discussions about bugs and the latest fantasy movie, and I’m a happy camper.

I can't think of a title.

Once upon a time, God made two things that were wonderful. Those things, were Greenday and beads. Sometimes, very lucky girls would figure out, that when used together, it was the most wonderful thing on the earth. Sadly though, then the girls family (mostly their mothers and bitchy sisters) would return home, and they’d have to shut off the dear music, and pack up the sparkling beads. Why did they have to? Because the evil women didn’t like the music, and they said they needed the kitchen table clear so they could make super, but in the end they forced the girls to make super anyways so that sucked.

Today’s poems.

~ ~ ~

Anna, why did you have to get pregnant?
Why does your husband have to be so awful?
Why does your lover have to be so good?
Do you ever wish you’d never sat by the Countess,
That day on the train?

Levin, why are you so wonderful?
How did you become this way?
Or were you born so wonderful?
Will you marry me?

Kitty, you’re a lucky brat.

~ ~ ~

Ouch, damn.
Wow that’s creative.
No Lincoln, I don’t love Josh.
Wait, does he love me?
Wow, hes actually really attractive.
Hmmmmm.
No, screw it.
I’m too busy anyways.
That’s not funny at all Cam.
I know.
So beads are fun, I forgot.
Why the hell wasn’t I older in the ‘90s?
I feel so jipped.
Well, not like God jipped me, but someone probably did.
My parents maybe.
But actually maybe it was their parents,
Because they jipped me by not having my parents sooner,
So they could have me sooner,
Which makes it their fault.
Obviously.
Yes, I need to get working out again.
My stomach isn’t as flat as it was this summer.
And don’t even get me started on my upper legs,
And by that I do mean thighs.
I mean its not like I’m grotesque,
But I’m not hot either.
But eh, frump.
So math is from Satan, that’s all.

~ ~ ~

Yeah, I suck. But hey, its my blog, my poems, my rules. And wow, I sounds like a spoiled brat. I really do love you all.

5 minutes each.

Marta, you little bastard. Getting me hooked on this writing exercise.

Marta: “Camille darling, it sounds like you have too much stress in your life. You need to take better care of yourself, and while I know Chelsea is making you drink your tea, I have something I want you to do.”
Camille: “And that would be?”
Marta: “Okay, I’m taking this poetry class, and one of the exercises they’re having us do is to take five minutes to write a poem. You can choose any style, any length, it can be whatever you want it to be. They just think it helps get the ‘idea flow’ coming out of our brains. So I want you to write 2 daily. Okay doll?”
Camille: *mutters inaudible curse words under breath* “Oh alright, but just for a while.”
Marta: “Yay! You’re such a good little cookie.”
Camille: “Yeah yeah I know, you gotta love me.”

Okay Marta, here I go..10 minutes…starting…now.

~ ~ ~

Trapped in the dark, down in this well,
it appears to be my personal hell,
and what do these strong men with their ropes and ladders really know?

They think they can save me,
and oh how I want them to try,
but what these strong men don’t see…

..is that theres someone down here,
and they’re holding onto me.

Oh the cold, this damp dark world,
black mud climbs up my ankles,
now to my hips,
and I can feel their bony fingers,
as they pull me down, down by my wrists.

~ ~ ~

Eyes are burning,
limbs are week,
But are you crazy?
Theres no time for sleep!

Rush and run,
cram in some fun,
we’re gonna go crazy, before its all done.

Oh a bed, oh a rest,
oh right now, that sounds the best.
But girl you’re silly, why you’re insane!
Don’t you know, nows the time for pain?

A time for stress,
and nothing less,
beat up your body,
theres no time for rest.

~ ~ ~

Well that was fun.

Ha.

Yeah, well that worked like a charm. First of all, people thought I was GROUNDED from the internet which really ticked me off to no end. Second, when I've gotten together with friends they're like "CAMILLE! Why haven't you checked your e-mail???? I sent you (blank) number of e-mails asking you about (blank) and why haven't you replyed????" So baiscally theres no way I can completely leave the internet for a long period of time, it just doesn't work. *infernal* BUT, I have had a very nice last few days, and from this point on I am just going to REALLY control my time and tell people straight up that I'm busy and can't talk. If thats the case of course. (Okay it really just depends on who you are actually, politics being what they are and what not. *wink*)

Goodbye.

For a while guys.

I'll be back in a bit, but god I am going to miss some of you like crazy.

See you in a month.

Ouch.

Ouch, my feet really hurt. Dear Lord, why do these adorable black pumps with the really high heels have to look so sassy hidden beneath my jeans? Just why God, why does it have to work so well? They hurt after 9 hours of wearing them.

Hmm, okay, church today, and oh man….it was FREAKY. We had these weird dudes there performing feats (sp?) of strength and it completely disturbed me. *shudder* Anyways.

So Katie-dogs b-day was Tuesday, and we had the shin-dig this afternoon. Pretty good times actually, can’t beat going out with the gang and goofing off.

Okay, so I ran errands after the party right, and man it was fun. I was just all by myself, but quasi dressed up (Blue oxford, snappy jeans, said black pumps, brand new black J Jill coat which I adore, killer straight up-do, silver twisted earrings from art fair, and diamond ring) so I felt grown up dashing all over CR. Anyways, so I went all around and bought lovely fun things. MANY picture frames (for the new room décor), A ‘White Stripes’ album, pixi stix (my new sig), socks, matches, gum, chapstick…blah blah blah. And a bunch more crap that I can’t remember right now, but it was just so fun to be alone and take my time. I had a blast.

Heh, wouldn’t you know it, I’d have more fun buying matches and pixi stix then I would hanging out with a bunch of ‘friends’. *sigh* I’m a grump lately. Bahahahahaha.

Ha.

Who.

I am so blue, and I have no idea why.

Well, maybe its because things around the house have been completly stressed, and everyones fighting...

...not constantly but still. I just can't get myself happy. I keep trying, but nothing works. I'm just so...down.

Well, that didn't really help but whatever.

The end, and a good thing.

-Today was my last day at the café. And oh sweet lord, I couldn’t be happier. The only moment when I felt even a hint of sadness, was when I was writing on the board that we put out front. I WAS (man I love past tense) the café’s artist, so this was always my job. I would scpice up ‘Today’s Special’ with color and design, one of the few halfway enjoyable things about my ‘former job’. Ha, anyways. So the coffee ladies, the group of old women who come in daily for coffee were sitting at a table somewhat close to me (I was sitting on the edge of a booth working on the sign) and when I stood up to carry it outside they all applauded! I got lots of “Looks great honey! You’re so talented! Nice job! Oh, I love the blue side!” and other things to that effect. It was quite adorable, and made me heart feel a little prick of pain…

…but just a little.

Muhahawahahaha!

Anyways, to continue….

-When I arrived at home, I ran up to my room with a joyful grin on my face. I threw my tennis shoes in the sink, and poured Lysol on them. Then I poured a whole bottle of bubble bath in the tub and hopped in. Scrub scrub scrub. A bar of soap, and half a bottle of shampoo later…and I was happy. I will NEVER, EVER, have to smell like that café again. It was such a wonderful thing to get rid of that feeling, and knowing it was the last time….ahhhhh. Happiness.

-Hmmmm, we are still getting ready for the infernal garage sale. Bah, I don’t wish to expound on this. Yes, its all going well, moms freaking but what else is new?

-Dance went well, hmm, I am still not completely nuts about the style of our routines yet, but eh. *laughs* It was really funny, we were all standing in front of the mirrors waiting for Joan to get the music going, and I noticed how incredibly different I look from all the other girls. Well, I mean okay, all the other girls wear flashy dance attire (odd mis-matched bright pieces, and what not), and they all yank their hair back into severe ponytails, all including the stylish side part. *rolls eyes* How original. And me, well, I had me hair up in my classic Grecian style updo, with artsy curls and wisps. And how can you leave the house without a little dangle on you earlobes? *laughs* And of course, black yoga pants and what else? An ‘Iowa’ shirt. Well, and the fact that most of the girls are all sticks, its good, they have nice stylish figures, but I am…well not a stick. Heh, okay I just rambled. Anyways.

-Oh! And when I got home I gave Chelsea a ring, shes been begging me to, we hadn’t talked in *gasp* 11 days! So her and I had a grand chat. I laid on my bed and doodled in a notepad while we talked about everything under the sun. I love that girl. Oh, and she has a new pet name for me. She was talking about me with her 17 year old brother Sam the other day, and he said “Wait, if you take one L and the I out of her name you can spell ‘Camel’.” *laughs* So now I am ‘Camel’ to them. Ha, its quite funny considering said animal used to be my very favorite. Ah, but anyways. Its just grand to talk to my girl. Why did she have to go to infernal college? Thats what I want to know.

*pout*

Yesterday.

-Woke to the sound of mum and dad having a tiff, so I laid in bed for about an hour just wondering if being married was really worth it. Both their points sounded utterly idiotic, I couldn’t believe how juvenile they sounded as they fought for their stupid bias opinions. They were SO set in winning, each of them. Ha, yeah. So I just snuggled in my soft, wonderful new sheets until they remembered I was alive and called me down with a list of chores. Good morning life.
-Did said chores.
-Got ready for family pictures, do you have any idea what its like to get nine people ready for pictures? I alone did 5 peoples hair, and washed two children. Heh.
-Had family pictures taken. The photographer took us out to Rodgers Park (The local camping ground thingy) and we took the pictures by the lake. We were all in black shirts and jeans, hmmm, I think they might turn out alright. Yeah. Still, insanity.
-Went to see the groupies in CR. Heh, pretty fun I guess. Okay not really. Still, stay positive cam. Okay, so I freaked out because I was so busy last week that I forgot Katies birthday is tomorrow. I only remembered when she handed me the invite for her party, in my mind I am like ‘Oh SHIT! I can’t believe I forgot!!!’ but out of my mouth comes “You know I am there ladyfriend.” Heh, whew. Thank God for that save. So yeah, it was cool to see everyone. Lincoln, Peter, and I had quite the conversation, and all my girls and I caught up on our lives. Oh, and I totally bumped into that Eric guy, laughs, well, he was carrying all this junk out of Pastor Als office, and I was heading down to Emily’s office to get something for her and he kinda slammed right into me. Ha, papers everywhere and what not. Quite the drama.

Yeah so fun. Gah, but I found out today that infernal MUM wants to have a garage sale on Friday and Saturday which completely sucks. First- I hate getting ready for them. Its just a pain to put dinky little tags on every little piece of junk we don’t want anymore. Second- I’m just gonna say it, it gives me a bad vibe. I don’t know why, I have nothing against people who go to sales, at all. My family used to do it all the time when we lived in Des Moines, but theres something weird about it to me. I dunno. We always make tons of money and we sell good stuff so that’s nice to help people out and what not. I’m just selfish I guess. I don’t want to help with it this week. I have math and beading to get done.

*pout*

Whatever.

Ahhh. The work week is over. And the Camille is slightly relaxed. Heh, at least a little. Today was THE craziest day ever, I hate to say it but work was a real ‘bitch’. Man. I had like 50 projects going on at one time, and these TOTAL jerky clients came in, they completely chewed me out because their stock went down, but wait….DOES CAMILLE CONTROL THE STOCK MARKET??? I didn’t think so! Sheesh. Oh well, I made it through this week and I don’t think I have to work hardly at all next week, so Lord be praised. Well, praise him anyways. I am just gripeing. So we saw ‘Sky Captin of Tomorrow’ um, tonight. Heh, it was GRAND. I loved it. Seriously.

I don’t want to blog right now.

So I am done.

Oh, and Laura is 15 today.

Death.

Well, I haven’t posted forever. I have pretty much been working full time this week, and have barely had time to breathe. Its official, I am not getting enough sleep and I think its killing me. Today at lunch, Mom told me she cancelled the appointment we had to have my pictures taken tomorrow, because I looked so bad. She says I just don’t look like me, like I am sick and completely exhausted. Shes right. My face has no color, I actually put blush on today just so I wouldn’t look like I’d been dead for a month.

But its pretty pathetic when your own mother cancels your pictures just because you look so bad.

Also, quotes.

*Dad and Camille talking as they leave work and Dad’s voice is sounding raspy*

C: Dad, is your voice okay?
D: I think I am kinda losing it.
C: You sound like you need some whisky. *nudge*
D: I’d prefer heroin.
C: Ha! Oh ow…don’t make me laugh, my lips are chapped and they bleed when I do.
D: Sorry.

***

*Lunch break*

Camille: Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I died?
Emily: Yeah, that’d be a riot.
Camille: Hey Mom, like would you have the funeral at our church?
Mom: Naw, we wouldn’t give you a funeral. We’d probably just bury you somewhere in the back yard.
Nile: Like with the dead cats and hamsters?
Mom: Sure.
Emily: Man that would so rock if you died, I’d laugh my head off. Oh, and I get your money and room.
Camille: Well yeah, obviously.

***

I guess I really have been thinking about death a lot lately. Hmmmm.

Satan.

Satan is Dan Rathers toe.

-Seth

Yes.

Yesterday Emily and I painted my room. We had such a great time, I think I laughed more yesterday then I have for at least a month. We ended of doing two coats of white primer, and then two coats of this light mocha/toupe color from where else? Ralph Lauren, the best paint on earth. As I covered up those silly daisies that had lined my walls, it was so odd….it almost felt like one more step towards growing up. I chose those colors and themes when I was still a young girl, and now, while they are technically still there, they are hidden under paint and time. I guess that’s sort of how I have been feeling about myself lately, that I am getting ready to let go of some of my ‘childhood’ things. Heh, I kind of have to.

Guh.

Ashley Simpson? Dan Rather! He is God, he will kill you!

-Seth